Experiencing A Higher Power In My Life


Gradual change has been my experience in the Program. Just as a gradual acceptance of the spiritual aspect of A.A. has also been my experience. My connection to a Higher Power became apparent to me over time. In the beginning I was not so sure that I would “come to believe,” but today, I can certainly say that I have a God in my life, and am evermore grateful. At first, I tried to justify this God to myself, and for the most part wanted desperately to believe. It was a lot easier to believe when I was faced with so many other sober alcoholics who based their recovery on the spiritual principals. If it worked for them, why could it not work for me. It had to be true, not just words. The idea that A.A. had helped so many alcoholics was but a beginning to my spiritual travels. There was “something” at work in the lives of others – of that I am absolutely sure.

Opposite Of Complacency

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Vigilance is a good, strong word – meaning that I am dedicated to a purpose. In the dictionary it is described as being watchful, or avoiding danger. I strive to be watchful of my state of mind, that I continue to “work” the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous, on a daily basis. Inertia can spell trouble for me. I must always be on the lookout for signs of complacency, as it can lead me right back into my active addiction. A.A. takes action-so much more than mere words or thoughts. Without action I have no growth or change. I can “know” the Twelve Steps, but until I “work” them, I do not benefit from them. I know of people who can recite the Twelve Steps verbatim, but relapse time and again. Taking some form of action on a daily basis keeps me actively going forward – towards recovery. I begin by admitting that I have a problem I can’t “fix.”



I’ve heard the first three Steps defined as “I can’t, God can, I think I’ll let Him.” I know that God has done for me what I could not do for myself. I tried and tried to change my way of living. I tried and tried to just quit drinking. And I tried and tried to be a better person, a better mother, a better etc. But failure was my rule of thumb – until I found A.A. I found that I was capable of change, that there was a glimmer of hope for not just myself but for all the others who were sitting around the tables. In the process of healing my own wounds, I found ways of helping others heal their wounds. The Program is simple in it’s base form; abstention from alcohol and striving towards the spiritual principles are the very basics. With God by my side I have the “power” to do whatever is needed to stay sober, to change and grow – and come to believe.

Photo Courtesy of Rocky

Photo Courtesy of Rocky

Ceased Fighting


I wasn’t sure where I “fit” in the spiritual aspect of the Program, I just knew that I had found a place that gave me hope. Someone told me that I could use the “group” as a “higher power.” This made sense to me, I mean there were sober people in the rooms, something or someone had surely worked in their lives. Initially I was a little skeptical of their pronounced sobriety, but in time I came to know that they were truly sober, and many members had substantial time in recovery. My sponsor told me to focus on the recovery aspect of the Program, that the Spiritual “part” would come of it’s own accord. I did just that, and began to “work” the Steps. I believe that this “power” is the missing link to sobriety that other programs lack. That’s my belief, as we are each free to define and accept our own spiritual “being.” Open-mindedness and being willing were essential to this process. I had many questions but soon learned that this was common, as the Program was complex and required concentrated effort. The good news: there was no “time limit” to learn the Program, I had the rest of my life, one day at a time.

Trust Trust Trust!!!


Going against my feelings brought me to the depths of my life, time and again. I would “go forth, blindly” in spite of feelings of misgiving and doubt. And just about every time, there would be a negative response to the negative feeling. If only I had “listened” to my feelings – but then again, God was teaching me lessons about learning to trust not only my feelings, but learning to trust in Him. The idea of a “higher” power took it’s time with me. I was quite sure that I knew what was best for me – in spite of all the failed attempts I had. When I finally started letting go and letting God, my life began to improve. I was AMAZED when I “worked” Step Three and found that I was capable of letting go of the reins, and allowing God to work in my life. All it required was that I “sit still” for a time, and let God take care of this precious life that He has given me.

Opening The Door


Today, I have learned to take my time with any changes that may occur in my life. I give myself a chance to fully understand the impact of change on me and life. I have learned how to set boundaries, and how to express my love for others. I have learned, and trust in, the many blessings which God has bestowed on me. I have learned that “my mistakes of yesterday can be stepping stones for tomorrow if I do something about them today.” I have been led to a higher path, to a higher expectation of myself as a loving member of AA. My life today is about being kind, loving, and trusting in God, my Higher Power. But first comes understanding and learning the importance of being of service to myself…..that I might then be of service to others. I am now able to Let Go and Let God!

The Great Fact


For me, turning my will and my life over to the care of God meant that I had to stop making life changing decisions, at a moments notice. It required that I trust in God, and believe that He has my best interest at heart. I had to learn to “sit still” and give A.A. and God a chance to help redefine my life. I learned to believe that God wants me to take the “Higher Road,” and that defined itself as action that benefited not only myself, but those around me. I worked to be of service to others, and to leave my life in the hands of the Master. I was not sure how to define my relationship with the God of my understanding, but I knew it meant behavior contrary to my previous behavior. Where I was dishonest, I worked to be honest; where I was angry I embraced forgiveness, love and peace; where I was strong-headed and defiant, I worked to accept that I am but a small part of the world, that God is truly in charge of all.

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