May 23, 2015
I certainly did not know that by sharing my story with others, it would afford me more strength in my battle with alcohol. I have listened to many people share their experience, strength and hope with others, and just about every time I would get this feeling of being “at one with others.” I found that I was not so different as I had thought. It made me realize that I am just a human being, fallible like everyone else. I came face to face with the realization that I am not as unique as I thought. I’m just another alcoholic, another sober drunk, and another person looking for a path out from the depths of my misery to the heights of my recovery.
It’s truly amazing how the Program works, but work it does – as long as I am willing to do whatever footwork is needed(steps,steps,steps) it will continue to shine the light of recovery on the path I need to take. With the help of others who are on this same path, and the faith I have in a Higher Power, there seems to be no limit to the aspirations I can have today. I am free to go where I want today, no one tells me to leave, that I am not wanted here – that was the way it was before, but not now. No one casts me out with phrases like “We don’t want your kind here.” Today I am welcomed, today I am loved, and today I am truly one of God’s chosen ones.
May 21, 2015
Patience with myself, patience with life and patience with others – these are all important in my new life of sobriety. I am learning to allow others the opportunity to be of service, and my ego is learning that the world will survive without my input and effort! :) Asking for help has never been my strong suit, but I am learning that it can be the very thing I need to do. My ego is adjusting to this new situation of being needful. Aging is a reality, one that requires adjustments of all sorts. Patience with myself and others is often part of that process, and one that I am continually facing. So, for now, I will “downsize” my service commitments and work towards a “balance” that benefits both me and others, including the Fellowship of A.A. I will strive to embrace each day, and look to accomplish those tasks that are needed for this day, this here and now.
May 20, 2015
I have found that in learning to love myself that the process has freed me to learn to love others, as well. In looking back at those I proclaimed to love, I found that much of that was my desire to control others through stilted emotions. I believe I have found the “way” to love myself and others – including the God of my understanding. Part of that process is learning to give of myself to others. The Program of Alcoholics Anonymous provides me with not only an outline for living the “good” life, but it gives me a Step by Step process that I can use to find my own path to recovery and happiness.
When I first arrived at the tables of A.A. I was so unsure of myself, and the direction of my life. Today, I love many people, from my birth family to my A.A. family. . . and I love myself. I serve a purpose today, I have a direction in my life which enables me to put one foot in front of the other, get out of my own head once in a while, and be of service to others – however that may be defined. I have found that I have gifts and talents which I have been graced with by God, gifts that I can share with others. To begin with I have a strong faith in God and in the Program of A.A. I have forgiven myself for my past behaviors. Today my self-esteem has improved, and I have found that my ability to love myself is a direct result of learning to love others. I love myself, I love my families and I love those with whom I choose to share my life!
(I want to share with you ALL, the statistics I’ve been given regarding our THIS24 site…thus …..the picture…THANK YOU ALL…for coming back..and those of you who have been here from the beginning…FOR STAYING!!!)
May 19, 2015
I am never without problems, of one sort or another. What I have learned in recovery is that there are lessons to be learned from problems – and their solutions. There is no shame in having problems – everybody has them. Trying to deny my issues can cause me to develop more problems, as most of the time it means that feelings of guilt and shame have surfaced.
I do not have to feel shame about my problems – I mean, we all have them. Things break down, people disagree, my mouth says stupid stuff, money runs short, I forget something important… as the bumper sticker says “_ _ it happens!” Problems happen in recovery, all the time. Just because I got sober does not mean that all my problems will go away – that just doesn’t happen. But through the process of recovery I learn new ways of solving problems and resolving issues that can arise. I believe that I learn more from problems than I do from not having problems. They teach me what to do, how to do it, and just as important – when to do it – whatever “it” is. Solving problems without feeling shame is something learned, a day at a time. I am better at solving problems today than I was before recovery. I am better at accepting the gift of problems, as a source for learning new behaviors and new ways of “dealing” with life. There is no shame in having problems, the real shame might be not being willing to learn the lessons within the problem. I continue to live and hopefully, to learn.
May 18, 2015
One of my favorite freedoms – the freedom to be me, is just enough to put an upswing to my mood. I don’t have to be anyone else, I don’t have to be anything else – just me. I have finally come to a place where being me is okay. No, I’m still not perfect, but I am a better version of me than I ever was before recovery. Today, through the power invested in me by my Higher Power, I can embrace the power to simply be myself, warts and all. I am free not to drink today, I am free to feel the happiness of acceptance, and I am free to take whatever action I can towards that end.
Today I am free to be me. Today I am free to change, I am free to embrace my blessings, I am free to continue to work the Steps and participate in my recovery. I am free to feel a purpose and a direction in my life, to be of service to others wherever I can, I am free to feel secure financially, emotionally, and spiritually. I am free to find and keep a loving God, as I understand Him. I am free!!!!
May 17, 2015
It’s been a ROUGH 24 hours folks. One of our furbabies is ill. We almost lost him. He is on the mend now with medication. With little sleep, my brain is mush, so please forgive me as I copy the meditation from Keep it simple:
Keep It Simple
Each day provides its own gifts.
—Ruth P. Freedman
Spiritual growth is the greatest gift we can receive. And we earn it through taking risks. There is much risk involved in working the Steps: The risk of admitting that we’re out of control. The risk of turning our will and lives over to a Power greater than ourselves. The risk of letting go of character defects. The risk of making amends to people we’ve harmed. The risk of admitting our wrongs. The risk of telling our stories as we carry the message of hope. To grow spiritually, we need these adventures. These challenges. These risks.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to take the risks that I need in order to grow.
Action for the Day: I will look at today as an adventure with my Higher Power. I will list the fears I’ll need to let go of.
May 16, 2015
I find it hard to ask for help – when I clearly need it. I think part of that is this aging process, I don’t want to admit to being less “strong” than I was, or unable to perform as I once did. Some of it is also this grand and glorious ego that surely does not want to admit not knowing something. Asking for advice and asking for help are clearly two different things. I fully believe asking for advice is wanting someone to validate my decision or my choice. I see this practiced when it comes to sponsoring, as we do in the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous. There are no two sponsors who sponsor others exactly alike, sponsoring is as individual as the people who perform this selfless act of hope and faith. I believe I sponsor others in the hope of their sobriety and recovery.
In so far as suggestion goes, I do seek suggestions of others with more experience than myself and I do watch and learn from others whenever I can. I do listen to those whose lives I aspire to. When I take an honest look at my behavior when it comes to asking for help, I can see where improvement is needed, but I can also see that I have made some progress in this area – from the days of old, when I tried to rule the world all by myself. I know I am not the ruler of the world, I try to focus on just helping my world work for me, one day at a time – and with God’s help I am making progress. But it takes more than just me, I work towards progress with the help of my Higher Power, God.