One Two Three

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I could see God at work in the lives of others around the tables, and I knew that I was powerless over my fears, but God was not. It was such a relief to be able to be fully honest for the first time in my life. I was accepted, I was encouraged, and I was no longer controlled by my fears. I discovered that fear is the absence of faith…. faith in a power greater than me and greater than my disease. I was being led and life was changing – for the better. I was capable of living fearless. I was capable of living in faith and I was capable of changing, both emotionally and spiritually. The Spiritual Principles led me to understand what I know now as behavior models. I learned to do the opposite of old negative behaviors and to concentrate on behaviors that have good results. Hope, honesty, and faith were the first three Principles I learned to embrace. A.A. gave me the hope I needed. Honesty told me I could change and my faith has continued to grow beyond my wildest dreams.

Photo courtesy of AINV

Photo courtesy of AINV

Acting As If (Language of Letting Go)

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The behavior we call “acting as if” can be a powerful recovery tool. Acting as if is a way to practice the positive. It’s a positive form of pretending. It’s a tool we use to get ourselves unstuck. It’s a tool we make a conscious decision to use. Acting as if can be helpful when a feeling begins to control us. We make a conscious decision to act as if we feel fine and are going to be fine. When a problem plagues us, acting as if can help us get unstuck, We act as if the problem will be or already is solved, so we can go on with our life. Often, acting as if we are detached will set the stage for detachment to come in and take over. There are many areas where acting as if – combined with other recovery principles – will set the stage for the reality we desire. We can act as if we love ourselves, until we actually do begin to care for ourselves. We can act as if we a right to say no, until we believe we do. We don’t pretend we have enough money to cover a check. We don’t pretend an alcoholic is not drinking. We use acting as if as part of our recovery, to set the stage for our new behaviors. We force ourselves through positive recovery behaviors, disregarding our doubts and fears, until our feelings have time to catch up with reality. Acting as if is a positive way to overcome fears, doubts, and low self-esteem. We do not have to lie; we do not have to be dishonest with ourselves. We open up to the positive possibilities of the future, instead of limiting the future by today’s feelings and circumstances. Acting as if helps us get past shaky ground and into solid territory.
reiki-energy

Is God enough for me-Am I enough today(Reflection & Photo from Clay)

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Far too often, when I’m struggling, my last resort is to pray. Today, I’m working on making prayer my first resort. Self likes to fix things and not bother my Creator with little things. Didn’t God create the universe? Doesn’t He own everything He created? The only thing He doesn’t own is my love. That is what He desires. Through Him is where self-esteem/self-worth arrives and drives….

Praying is the most powerful weapon against self. Prayer is a handshake with Divine Mercy. He makes Himself available to us through prayer. Humm, being available??? What an amazing privilege of grace. I feel prayer is just talking/listening with a quiet soul. Only through prayer is my spiritual intimacy increased. I feel in my soul that He likes spending time with me, as I do with Him.

How often I forget, every time I turn it over/lay it down to God, He always takes care of my struggling situation in a way that exceeds my expectations…every single time.

It’s a good day to have a good day.

Thank you Clay

Thank you Clay

Three Things

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There were many times when I would awaken to bruises, cuts, and no memory of how I got them. I woke up in the hospital several times, and once on a train track. How embarrassing it was to have to ask someone, where am I? I even woke up in a different State once. How did I get to Nevada? Who knows? I could see these behaviors more clearly once I started working the program through working the Steps. I knew I had to change from the inside out. I found others who had faced these basic changes in behavior. There were people in the meetings who had been sober for years and that to me was amazing! I heard others tell their stories and I related to them.  Everything I said, everything I did, and everything I thought all had to be considered, reviewed, and ultimately changed at a core level. The good news was that I could do this phenomenal task one day at a time. In the early days my sponsor realized that I was very resistant to change; and when I began discussing it with her, instead of giving me a long list of things I would need to change, she said not to worry as there were only three things a newcomer needed to change. I was relieved to hear that and said I could handle just three things and asked what they were, ready to get at it. My sponsor said, “Everything you say, everything you think, and everything you do.” Then she smiled, I didn’t. I DO NOW!!! LOL

Photo courtesy of MAGGS

Photo courtesy of MAGGS

Let The Healing Begin

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Slowly over time improvements in my moral behavior have occurred since coming to AA. I have learned about the Spiritual Principles, and how they relate to recovery. I have come to know and appreciate the moral behavior of those who choose recovery. Rather than anger, I am encouraged to practice self-control. Rather than delving into false pride, I seek humility. When dishonesty wants to assert itself, I work to practice honesty – in both word and deed. Resentments have been released and replaced with forgiveness. Envy is changed to generosity, eliminating a source of anger. Instead of condemning myself, I work on my self-esteem by reviewing my change and growth in A.A. For every negative behavior there is an opposite positive behavior, and my journey through the Steps has brought me to an understanding of this basic principle. Whenever I am unsure of what to do, I remember that “lesson.” Alcoholics Anonymous continues to be a program of change and growth – today I serve as an example of this basic tenet. Thank you for letting me be of service here at This24 💕
Bright-Light

Daily Thought: Expectations

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Until I could honestly look at myself and see that I was the problem in many situations and react appropriately inside and out; until I could discard my expectations and understand that my serenity was directly proportional to them, I could not experience serenity and sound sobriety.
– Daily Reflections, p. 71

Thought to Ponder . . .
Expectations are resentments ‘under construction.’
this24

Ego

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Selfishness – a definition: The act if being overly concerned primarily or only with oneself/self-absorbed/ self-centered/ self-serving/ self-seeking/ egotistical.

At first I had a little trouble figuring out the selfish/selfless behaviors that had been present in my life, I heard others around the tables talk about what they referred to as the “We” program. Our basic premise is of one person helping another. The Program “suggests” that unity is the basic touchstone for recovery. In the process of working the 4th Step my own selfishness came to the surface. I had several members encourage me to give the Program time, that I was not going to understand everything, there was much to learn. On one hand it was suggested that I work the Program for myself, and on the other hand I was encouraged to unite with my fellow alcoholics, to get a sponsor, to participate in group meetings. Service work came early in my recovery, that plus the Third Tradition, gave me much to understand and learn about this deadly disease. For one thing I could see that I was always screaming silently – what about me, me, me! At some point in the early days of my recovery, the cries of me, me, me changed and became we,we,we.

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