True To Ourselves


“To Thine Own Self Be True” this is etched on our “birthday” chips,(and also tattooed down the side of my leg, lol) and is considered to be an important part of the recovery “message.” To me, it means that I follow my true feelings, that I laugh when I’m happy, and cry when I’m sad. It also means that I express my true feelings, whenever possible. In the process of working the Twelve Steps this time around, I have come to the conclusion that I no longer have anything to hide about my past – I am, however, select about with whom I share. My faults and misdeeds serve as lessons to others today, and are therefore no longer my shame, but my hope for the future of myself and my fellow alcoholics. Coming to terms with my honesty was the most freeing feeling I have ever felt in my life. I was free to be me – warts and all. It gave me the courage to open my heart and mind to the real crux of recovery. Being true to myself is essential to the the process we know and love as recovery. Today, I am true to me and I am true to the God of my understanding!

In The Beginning


In the late stages of our drinking, the will to resist has fled. Yet when we admit complete defeat and when we become entirely ready to try A.A. principles, our obsession leaves us and we enter a new dimension – freedom under God as we understand Him.
– As Bill Sees It, p. 283

The quote talks about a “new dimension.” What does that mean? In the Big Book, there is a chapter “There is a Solution.” On page 25 of that chapter it states “We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.” Admitting defeat gave me a true sense of freedom, and a life unlike anything I ever dreamed of. The willingness to believe in this “power” has given me a new existence, a life based in a “new dimension,” a dimension of faith, trust and surrender. I gave up my old life and found a new one. This “new” life is based on spiritual principles which are in opposition to the old “principles.” Instead of mistrust, I found faith. Instead of bias I found open-mindedness. Instead of dishonesty I found honesty. Instead of false pride I found humility. I developed a sense of what it means to be of service to others, and learned the true value of forgiveness. I found a willingness unknown to me before beginning my journey down my spiritual path. I accept all that is offered, I embrace the spiritual principles and have found them to be my guides to positive behavior. I am blessed beyond measure, and remain grateful for all my many blessings.



Willingness is defined as being “ready, inclined, or having the power of choice.” I want what I see in others around the tables. I became willing to do what was suggested by others, and the Program. I found that willingness to consider ideas and suggestions that before would have sent me right out the door. I am willing to consider the spiritual aspect of A.A., I am willing to get real honest, for the first time in my life. I am willing to face my demons and disease, to acknowledge my part in my life. I find that each one of the Twelve Steps requires a willingness to some degree, but the good news is… that I have a Higher Power who not only encourages me but supports any and all efforts on my behalf. Working the Steps is my immediate goal, along with attending meetings – lots and lots of meetings. The meetings really serve two purposes; they enable me to learn about the disease of alcoholism, and at the same time give me the opportunity to meet others who are searching for the same answers. I feel safe in being honest, fully honest, for the first time in my life. I feel secure knowing and accepting a Power greater than me, and greater than my disease. There is a comfort and strength in the hope expressed by others. I believe, I accept and I am ridding myself of all the fears and shame that I had been living with for so many years. I now have a stronger connection with the God of my understanding. I am grateful, and especially for all of YOU!

It’s Like This Now (something Maggs shared with me)


“When the pupil is ready, the teacher appears.” ……Being intolerant of others was pretty high on my list of things I needed to learn about. Being critical of others was common for me – in recovery that had to change. To begin with I found that I had been pretty intolerant of myself. This negative self-image was holding me back from coming to terms with acceptance of myself and the terrible things that have happened to me, as both a human being and an alcoholic. I am both of these – that is not to say I am “bad” in any way, but to remind myself of all my human qualities. When I found that I could grow in self-love, I began to see how I could love others. When I became tolerant of my own flaws, I began to see that while my imperfections were clearly there, I could also see that there was hope for change and my attitude needed to be adjusted. My life is on my Higher Powers’ schedule, and this simple fact has blessed me with the beginnings of a spiritual understanding that has exceeded all my expectations. There is much to learn, and much to change in my world, and I am forever stretching towards growth and understanding. Just for this day I am endeavoring to reclaim my recovery and sobriety~!!!

Photo courtesy of Maggs!!

Photo courtesy of Maggs!!

Once Again, I Surrender!


I have surrendered to the reality of my life, and accepted responsibility for it. I believe that it is possible to stretch our wings and become whomever we choose to be. The disease of alcoholism does not condemn me for an eternity – I can change, I can grow and I can be a better person in sobriety than I ever was when I was in the throes of my drinking. Today, I have reconnected with a God of my understanding, who has shown me that I am capable to change, capable of growth, and capable of sharing my experience, strength and hope with others. Today, I know that my future is not limited by my past. My mistakes of yesterday can be stepping stones for tomorrow if I work to do something about them today. As our good friend Tom S generally concludes with……GRATEFUL FOR THE GIFT ❤
(Went for a drive today to reconnect with the Universe….the picture is from today)

Rebel With A Cause


I was a rebel early on in life, and did not have a set pattern of behavior that was consistent or purposeful. I usually did the opposite of what was expected of me. This rebellious nature carried over into my adult life, and now, in new Sobriety, I am learning to reassess the value of such guidelines as the Spiritual Principles. There is a Principle for each Step in A.A. Step One’s Spiritual Principle is Honesty. If I cannot be honest I will not achieve recovery. Honesty is the very basic behavior that is needed to even begin the process of rehabilitation – recovery. I find that I have to admit with complete honesty that my life was unmanageable and that I was powerless over alcohol. Can I look within and honestly admit my problem? It is called the “first step” for a reason. It is the very beginning of change. The first step towards change is the acceptance that change is desired, needed, and is absolutely imperative to sobriety!! A day at a time. Blessed to have a beginning….Thanks for the conversation today Maggs-you’re one in a million ❤


Love me, Love you


I believe that maintaining relationships is one of the hardest things we do in life. It’s easier to start a relationship than it is to keep it on an even keel. I believe that my partner in life and my daughter, have been the two people in my life who have truly loved me, just as I am, as well as all of my AA friends.  My partner was very accepting of my behavior and gave me lots of room for errors, while my daughter can be critical about my behavior and my life, in general. She is happy that I am in the Program, and again sober, but we live separate lives in many ways. Especially since I can no longer see my granddaughter. The Spiritual Principles have helped me be more lovable than I ever was before recovery. I am kinder and more willing to accept others as they are, not as I would have them. My faith, and the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous have afforded me opportunities for growth and change in my relationships with others. A daily inventory is helpful in reminding me of my part in any relationship that I have today. I am responsible for my own actions and words, just as others are responsible for theirs. Slowly I am learning…a day at a time!!!

Let us pray for those who’s lives were lost in France, and the world unrest. We are all blessed to be where we are today! Just for today!!! ❤❤❤

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