My stability in the Program today is truly a special gift for me. I found that I was capable of giving without expectation of return, as suggested in Step Twelve. This “giving from the heart” started out small for me, but over time it has blossomed into something that I can truly say is not only a blessing, but has turned out to be one the best “teachers” I have had. Giving of myself to the Program itself, in the form of service has really given me the gift of “being a part of.” This has been important for me both because of my past, and the fact that I have moved twice in recovery.
My reasons for these moves were more than just feeling restless. It also took some time to make sure I had considered all the many facets of such a move. I prayed about it and placed the decision squarely in God’s hands, and then I waited until it “felt” right, until the time was right, until I believed that the move would be in my best interest. The motive for the first move was to be close to my family, and I am glad that I made that move. The second move was a matter of being financially practical, and taking care of myself and our family interest. Both moves were not just selfish and self-centered, they were indicated by life and were guided by my Higher Power, God.
I am stable today. I am grateful that I can demonstrate that trait to my grandsons, from an emotional stance, not just being physically stable. I also believe that my personal program of recovery has grown and developed as the result of these moves. I have had to get out there and reconnect with new people, and it has given me a boost in my recovery, along with a true sense of “service” as that is what has enabled me to reach out and establish myself as not only a member, but a new member to a new home group. There were lessons to be learned about moving in recovery, and now I can pass on what my experience has been, which may be of some use to others, or not. Either way, I know that I have grown, I have changed, and I am capable of giving without regard for getting something in return. This A.A. Program, has truly been a miracle in my life – it just keeps on giving. I just have to keep an open mind, continue to be willing to go to any length, and work towards honesty in all that I say, all that I do, and all the ways that I behave.