Enduring Sobriety

Freedom is a special gift from God, and I can truly say that my life today is filled with new-found freedoms.  But with these freedoms comes responsibilities, recovery requires maintenance, on a daily basis.  I am responsible for my own program of recovery.  I am responsible that I pass on to others all that has been given to me.  I am responsible for supporting the Program of A.A. in whatever fashion is needed to keep the doors open for those yet to come.  Free choice is the basis of the Program, and I have the privilege and honor of having free choice in my life today.  My life is no longer controlled and manipulated by King Alcohol.  Today, I work with my Higher Power, and through the Program of A.A., I have found the strength I need to maintain my sobriety, one day at a time.

Photo Courtesy of Claude S
Photo Courtesy of Claude S

Taking advantage

“Thirteenth Stepping” is nothing more than someone taking advantage of another when that person is usually at their most vulnerable.  The rooms of A.A. are not there for that purpose, and if others see this kind of behavior it should be brought to the attention of others.  It should not be tolerated – we are the keepers of the Fellowship, and this means all aspects of the Program.  Today, I am more careful with my friendships than I was earlier in my recovery.  We are each responsible for the continuation of the Program, and if I see inappropriate behavior I will work towards enlightening those involved.  I am here to learn new ways of interacting with other people, I tend to lean towards others I can feel safe with, others I can relate to, and others who are striving for the same thing that I am – sobriety through the Program of A.A.; and recovery. download


You want me to turn WHAT over to the care of Who??

Reflection courtesy of Paul D

If there are 3 frogs on a log and two decided to jump how many frogs are on the log? 3
Because they only decided to jump. They hadn’t taken the action.

Yeah those three frog a probably still on that log…mummified, or maybe a alligator ate them. Like many other things making a decision is meaningless unless I actually do whatever it is I have decided to do.

I can decide to turn my will and life over to the care of God as I understand Him, or don’t understand him all damn day long. But if I don’t actually turn my will and my life over to the care of God I am still stuck in the last half of step one. And that boys and girls is half a step away from getting drunk! Chapter 5 in the Big Book tells us that, “Half measures avail us nothing.” If all I do is make that decision and nothing more then that is a half measure and will avail me nothing.
It helped me tremendously to finally read Step three as it really was.
“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”  The word is care  not control.


A Wonderful Gift

By being sober today, and being active in recovery, I no longer have to apologize for my past.  I have taken steps to atone for my past mistakes, actually Step Nine, to be exact.  And in my behavior today, I work towards not creating a “backlog” of “I’m sorry!”  As the result of changing my behaviors I have come to a place of appreciating myself.  I have a list of positive traits taped to the back of my medicine cabinet door, which I read often.  These positive traits provide me with lots of behaviors to strive for.  I gathered these words from Birthday cards, letters and comments I heard from others.  It has grown over time, just as I have.

This list reads as follows:  Kind, Strong, Loving, Thoughtful, Beautiful, Generous, Tolerant, Understanding, Good Natured, Nurturing, Supportive, Loyal, Reliable,  Fun-Loving, Optimistic, and Encouraging.  These are words that others have used to describe me, and if this is how others see me, I am truly blessed.  I have stopped thinking of myself as a “mistake.” I am no worse nor any better than anyone else.  I accept the fact of my imperfections, and actually I am grateful not to be perfect, imagine how hard that would be to maintain.  Accepting myself for who I am and what I am is a gift from my Higher Power.  I am capable of loving myself and others today.  I am capable of appreciating not only myself but everyone around me – my family, my friends, and my Fellows as we all trudge this road to a happy destiny.

Photography by Claude S
Photography by Claude S

I am a Pickle

I have a deep respect for my disease.  It has literally killed many – and that includes some of my family and friends.  I have seen the devastation that it can create, the misery and the suffering of the still drinking alcoholic.  The thought of returning to drinking scares me, particularly in view of the fact that the disease continues to progress, even after we stop drinking.  I sincerely do not believe I would  survive another bout with King Alcohol.  I have heard about the cucumber and the pickle – that once the cucumber becomes a pickle, it can never return to being a cucumber – it will always remain a pickle.  Well, I am that pickle, there is no doubt in my mind. I have a dear friend who states “If sobriety is God’s gift to me, then my sobriety is my gift to God.

Life is good, recovery is alive and well in my life.  I am truly blessed with true friends, unlike those so-called friends I met “out there.”  I am grateful, I am sober by the grace of God, and when I compare who I am today with who I was before, I am always amazed at the changes God has wrought in my life.


Jay Bird…..

Hello , my name is Jay and I am an alcoholic
8 years ago today I started my sobriety. I could tell you all what led up to that day but maybe in another post.  That day in the hospital I nearly died from my alcohol poisoning. I should not lived another hour much less a day , I had a content level of 0.71. Could have killed me , myself  and I, all three of us. But through the miracle of God I came to as the pastor is giving me last rites. Soon after waking up I begin to  I realize I am in a ton of pain and…. I cant move. I am paralyzed. I am scared.  I do not know if I will walk again. I may be in a wheel chair the rest of my life. But in that pain and uncertainty I was relieved and even happy. I knew that I never had to drink again , that the horror was over.   There was a certain peace in that. In the weeks following and months I learned to walk again. IN every single day I learn to live. I am happy joyous and free. There have been ups and downs ,sad and highs but through it all these 8 years have been the  very best in life.
Thank you God, Thank you AA , Thank you SMB, Thank you all who are in my life.

Getting Up

I do all that I can – then I just give it to God.  I wait, I wait to see what direction it is God’s will for me to take.  There is always another member who will take the time to talk with me.  There is always a meeting available, somewhere.  There is always prayer.  I never have to do this thing called recovery alone.  I have help available to me – in some form or another.  I have heard it said that an alcoholic alone is in poor company.  It is truly amazing what a difference it makes to know that someone who will understand whatever problem I am facing – is only a phone call away.  I no longer have to mire myself in my own misery.  After all, misery shared lessens it, while joy shared increases it.  So if you’re in the middle of self-pity, stand up and move forward, however that defines itself for you.  For me it means involving others, praying to my Higher Power, and simply getting out of self through service efforts.  I am truly blessed with an excellent Program.