I don’t like to be around others who are drinking with the intention of getting drunk.  They behave poorly, are rude, loud-mouthed, and have no sense of decorum.  I think that describes me, pretty accurately, when I drink.  It’s good for my recovery to see this kind of behavior and to remember my own poor behavior.  The more I drank, the louder I got, and the more “trashy” I became, totally unaware of my utterly and unreservedly vulgarity, not to mention my absolute lack of concern for anyone else around me.  I was completely rude, crude and definitely had an attitude!
The Program of Alcoholics Anonymous has enabled me to change and grow above and beyond those behaviors of old.  Today I work towards modesty, humility, honesty, morality, and selflessness – to name a few.  Stopping drinking was but a beginning.  Behavioral changes have taken place within me, and I have the Program and my Higher Power to thank for that.  I am no longer ashamed of who I am.  I can participate in the community I live in – and have quit “hiding” from the rest of the world.  I am not alone in this struggle, and I learn from others who are working on themselves, and who show me by example what it means to be a woman with standards and morals. . . one that no longer has to be the loudest voice in the crowd. 🙂
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