Those People

I used to be very critical of others – today I know that it was an indication of the poor self-image I had of myself.  It made me feel better if I could find fault in others.  I was constantly comparing myself to others.  Now I have come to an understanding that I was comparing my insides to the outsides of others, to begin with.  It was a poor basis for comparison – how I felt with how another looked.  It’s like apples and oranges – it’s all fruit but apples differ greatly from oranges.  I judged others by how they looked, dressed, or behaved, while I judged myself by how I felt.
Today I try to keep my criticisms to a minimum, but I cannot say that I have totally released that character defect.  Taking the inventory of others is of no use to me, it does nothing towards my growth as a sober alcoholic.  But it is something that I can “slip” into, on occasion.  I try to bring my attention back to the topic at hand, and to focus on the lessons that are there to learn, instead of taking another’s inventory.  Other members in the Program serve to teach me the lessons I need to live a life of sobriety, and I look to others for that reason.  It is not my place or my purpose to judge others, another’s recovery is not my business.  I can benefit more from learning to listen to others as they have much to teach me.  My job is to remain open to the lessons available to me, without judgment or criticism.  After all “those people” are just my “family,” my A.A. family, whom I trust, whom I love and whom I continue to learn from.

5 thoughts on “Those People

  1. October 2
    Grapevine Quote

    “Keeping a Tenth Step journal about my day-to-day life, my relations with other people, and the stuff that still roiled around in my head helped me see patterns in my thoughts and behavior, which I could discuss with my sponsor. And once I began to sit quietly, reflect on what I’d written, and pray, I began to sleep peacefully for the first time in my life.”
    Manchester, N.H., March 2001
    “Peace at Last,”
    AA Grapevine

    I have to write it down to see what I am thinking.
    Talking with my sponsor or any other trusted AA friend also helps me see what I am thinking.
    It’s not a We program for nothing.

  2. Thanks for the reading, I related about comparing myself to others.
    Glad to become better aware of those behaviors.

    Thanks each of you, kt

  3. There is always a temptation to speak beyond your own experience, in order to make a good impression. This is never effective. What does not come from the heart does not reach the heart. What comes from personal experience and a sincere desire to help the other person reaches the heart. Do I speak for effect or with a deep desire to help?

    This is out of 24, thought for the day.

  4. I went to a class yesterday about time management and learned a few things which i haven’t practiced regularly in some years and it’s kinda like journaling. Just writing down what I’m doing at different times of the day and then prioritizing them should help me manage my time more effectively. I did this but it’s need to be tweaked. More to be revealed. i’m Dan a grateful alcoholic

  5. Thanks to the openess and honesty in the rooms, I am able to compare my insides with the insides of other sober alkys, and realize I’m just like you……What a relief.

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