I have come to accept that God does not expect me to be perfect, He knows that I come complete with shortcomings and character defects. God knows that I am human and therefore flawed in many ways – but He also knows that I am capable of change and growth. I love the idea of “a God of my understanding,” and have imbued my God with the characteristics that I strive for: kindness, tolerance, love, courage, honesty, humility and integrity to name a few. I prefer and choose to be a believer rather than a non-believer – as I embrace this new concept of God, my life is better for it. I find the peace and comfort that I have sought for so long. I also find the assurance and understanding that faith brings – God loves me. . . what a blessing that is.
Accepting the A.A. concept of God has been easier than trying to come to terms with the angry God of my youth. I felt doomed in the religion I grew up in and finally just gave up trying to appease this angry God. Today I feel that God and I are partners in my life and in my recovery. God wants me to succeed in the changes that I work towards. God is my ally, no longer my enemy. I have faith today, faith in God, faith in the Program and faith in myself. I am capable of change, I am capable of growth and I am capable of working the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous on a daily basis. In looking back I am always amazed to find an image of myself that is quite different from the person I am today. A power greater than myself was at work in my life on that fateful day of years gone by. How can I not believe in God when I look at my todays as compared to my yesterdays – the “evidence” is there – I am new, again. I am sober, again. I am a better person, by God’s grace. I apologize if too much God talk offends anyone. 🙂