Personal inventory or self-examination as practiced in Step 10 helps me to process the events and my responses to those events, on a daily basis.  Thus enabling me to address issues on a current basis, instead of accumulating and stuffing my feelings as they relate to those events.  I am trying to learn to hold my tongue until I have had the time I need to process changes – particularly those changes that I deem to be negative, in some form.  I need time – time to get over being angry, time to clearly see “the other side of the coin,” time to get my feelings out of the way – that I might then make a decision that does not hurt myself or others.  When will I ever manage to quit hurting myself with my anger?  Stupid anger.  Even after all this time in the Program, I still react with an “all or nothing” attitude – when will I “grow up”???

Dear Trudgers – this “daily” is not my usual writings.  One of my sobriety sisters is on life support as a direct result of our disease. Her mom hasn’t made the decision to donate her organs, so we wait.  My anger, my ego, my lack of humility are all things that I need to work on.  Sorry if this seems like the ramblings of a “mad woman” but it does help me to try and focus on my behaviors, and to remember that I am but an imperfect human being – struggling one day at a time, to work the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous, and to practice the Spiritual Principles in all my affairs.

My Friend Nicole on the right, Beautiful Red! I'm on the left and Paul B in the middle!!

My Friend Nicole on the right, Beautiful Red! I’m on the left and Paul B in the middle!!