Truth and Honesty

I used to go “against my grain” trying to “people please.”  I committed acts that caused me to feel shame and regret later.  I always assumed that other people knew “things” about life, that I did not.  I would follow their lead down dark places, ignoring those feelings within that were trying to tell me to: “TURN AROUND!”  “GO BACK!”  THIS WAY IS NOT SAFE!  (They were always loud voices within me).  But I ignored them, nonetheless and would end up going against my basic instincts.  Today, I am so grateful to say that I no longer go against my basic nature.  I work to “listen” to my “self.”

That may mean trusting my instincts even when they are not the same as others around me.  It’s more important for me to be true to myself, than it is to develop friendships based on the desires of others, and not on my own morals.  I am strong enough today to honor and respect myself, to be true to my basic feelings, standards and desires.  These are the Principles I have come to accept as being right for me,  and I work to live within these guidelines, one day at a time.  These six words are written on “birthday” chips:  “To Thine Own Self Be True,” they are there for a reason – to remind me that the road to recovery is smoother when paved with truth and honesty from within.

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16 thoughts on “Truth and Honesty

  1. I have to do some real soul-searching every once in a while to find the impetus and inspiration to continue these mailings of this recording of my morning devotional time. You see there are a precious few who rarely respond with any kind of reaction and I must ask how you might feel.
    I don’t mind doing this and in fact I rather enjoy it but on the other hand I do not want to intrude on anyone.
    So what does my inner beacon advise me?

    First of all I am compelled to continue writing this morning reflection of among other things Thanksgiving to my Lord.

    But perhaps as far as the continued mailings go, it would be what has been referred to several times as the 4P’s; “Pause, Pray, Ponder and Proceeded”

    • Doc, I’ve ALWAYS loved what you write. As This24 continues, it’s sometimes hard to see the purpose for me. But I do know others read even if they don’t post comments. Sometimes your writings don’t go along with the This24 reflection but your writing is yours and you share valuable words of wisdom. Thank you for being here! Hugs!!!!

  2. I always knew that a certain that should be taken but I did not follow it even with the origins of a higher power to leave me in the right direction I often went my own way to my own demise. But being sober I can hear and feeling the nuggings of a higher power. I listen more and follow more. I happy more.

    • Stupid auto correct phone……. Certain path be taken

      origins… Urgings

      Ps. Every one be safe be well.
      I am sober, I am happy.

  3. Over time, I have come to understand that my desire to be accepted and loved is not quite the evil I once believed it to be. But let’s be clear; in the most counterintuitive of ways, most of the really awful things I did was in some sense as result of trying to endear myself to someone else. I didn’t want the wrong thing; I was trying to please the wrong King. But that character defect dies slowly, very slowly, for it’s a lifetime habit.

    Think of the manifestations of it:

    1. have a hard time saying no, even to unreasonable requests
    2. lie about small details to make you look better in someone’s eyes
    3. hide the serious and crippling character defects for fear that you’ll be judged and rejected
    4. drink/drug away the guilt and shame of it

    And on and on and on and on.

    Finally, I want to echo Harry’s sentiments. If it’s time to move on, this24 has been a blessing and a help. I don’t have quite the time to post, just a season of life I’m in, but I try to check in periodically. Blessings all.

  4. Harry, Your words are loved and needed, as are everyones’ shares here. Please continue. I dread the day in the hopefully distant future when I can no longer begin my mornings with your help…….I recall the sadness I felt when the old Daily Reflection site folded, for I felt myself a part of that spiritual entity, just as I count myself a part of this one. Some days I struggle to find a coherent, constructive thought to write, but be assured, I find strength in your writings even in silence.

    We do not reap the rewards of the twelfth step unless we are willing to invest in it.

  5. Bonnie I am currently doing what I call babysitting duty for a face2face meeting.
    during the winter this meeting has almost no one showing up. The key word there is “almost.” This meeting is very busy during the eight months between March and October. between October and March “almost” no one shows up but me. About the time I decide to shut it down one or more people will show up in desperate need of a meeting. THAT is why I keep it open. For them & me.

    • Exactly Paul. I didn’t say anything about shutting down this24, I was just responding to Harrys comment. No worries about me stopping the reflections. With your help, it benefits MY sobriety too as you said….even if it’s just the reflection, I’m writing it down and processing. This last year has helped in getting my 3yrs of continuous sobriety. And thanks Paul for all you do! 😁

  6. Just checking in this morning.
    Speaking just for myself, this site, the shares, the familiar names and quirky peccadilloes all deeply enrich my spiritual life virtually every morning.
    This site, following on from ODR and ZuZu and now SMB, is an integral and cherished piece of my recovery. And I have learned so much from the fulsome ( ok, and not so fulsome sometimes) shares expressed here. I now have people I consider my friends in Georgia, Central California, Las Vegas, Michigan, apparently up in some very cold and lonely mountains in the Western U.S. , the Middle East, and who knows where else. We’re all on the same Road, sometimes putting out a hand to get helped, sometimes to help, sometimes straggling, sometimes leading.
    But we’re all trudging together, coming out of Self and into Usefulness, Sober and Together.
    Now just how cool is that.

  7. There are many out here who rely on this site to provide daily confirmations of the reasons why we left AA. Your reflections are “mirrored”/copied-pasted elsewhere, where those of us who have finally left seek solace and healing from the damage we suffered. Please don’t stop. You all help many more than you know, though in ways you are unaware.

  8. This is a great place to come each day even if I don’t always share.
    Thanks Bonnie for you daily writings. And thanks Harry for your daily input.
    Thanks to all the members of this group. Thanks Anon for coming here, you help many more than you know! Keep coming back.

  9. I wanted to share that even though I rarely share, I have visited this site every day. It provides insight and guidance in helping me start my day in the right direction. Please know that all of you, even when it is quiet have made contributions to my recovery. Harry, I look forward to your posts every morning!

    Thanks to all.

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