This is one of my areas that I work to be mindful of.  I tend to isolate – and this is made much easier because I do not have a job right now.  I do this thing we call sobriety, solo – and that can be difficult at times.  Sometimes, it’s not an intentional isolation, I mean I do have friends and family I can call on to dispel those feelings of loneliness.  The fact of the matter is I enjoy having alone time – but I can only have so much “alone time” and then I get to a point where I need to reach out to others, to remind myself that I am part of the world.
In the Program of Alcoholics, I have found myself, and I have found a program that works for me.  I am grateful for my commitments as they tend to get me off the couch and out the door – and I need
that.  Isolating?  Maybe a little – but nothing like it used to be.  I remain grateful for the Program, for my Higher Power, God; and for all my friends and  family, which includes everyone who reads these words.
Photo Courtesy of M.K.
Photo Courtesy of M.K.

9 thoughts on “Isolating?

  1. I know what you mean about being alone and nothing wrong with that. My attempts to be part of the group and “fit in” got me into a lot of trouble. I’ve never been much of a social person so alcohol was my social lubricant and guess that’s true for many drinkers. These days, I live a very quiet life. I actually get a lot of social interaction at work which is enough for me. I’m happily married so have that social interaction as well. Anyway, I do try to get to a few f2f meetings each month. Have you considered online meetings and you can just search for these on google. (I don’t have the links with me.) I find online meetings to be helpful, but not the same as the f2f meetings.

  2. “Life on Life’s Terms”.

    I live in a community of elderly people who are constantly faced with care at whatever the next level of our existence will be and I know of the agony and angst which pervades. I also have an intimate knowledge of this process in my own immediate family and if anyone ever needed our prayers it would be all above us who are somehow involved in what are some way end of life decisions.
    Here is the kicker!
    The division of worldly goods in the survivors obviously lots of times brings out the baseness in some which reminds me that:
    “There’s a bit of good in the worst of us,
    there’s a bit of bad in the best of us,
    so it hardly behooves any of us
    to talk about the rest of us”.

    But I’m afraid we do anyhow. 😦

    May grace and peace be with us all. 🙂

  3. Well, I just wrote a brilliant piece about isolation being solitude’s evil twin. I threw some Paradise Lost stuff in there about vice being virtue gone bad, a little Shakespeare too. It was such BS that when I went to post, the internet gods vanquished it to the ether. Consider yourself blessed for not having read it! 8 years sober and still grandiosity galore.

    But I still love my own company too much!

    • Great share Jack. I have deleted many post for the same reason.

      Thank you for your lead SMB, and blessings of peace to you for your recent loss.

      Thank you all for your shares. Peace.

      • Thanks again for your comments. I remember in rehab always being chastised and lectured for isolating and I understand it’s important to have social interaction. However, I also think that people shouldn’t be forced to be in social situations if they don’t want to. I recently went to a f2f meeting and we talked about anger and resentments. I know it’s bad to carry resentments. However, one person talked about anger and that’s it’s not “wrong” to feel human emotions and anger is one of them. I don’t know if this makes sense, but I feel like wanting to be alone is part of being human and I shouldn’t have to feel forced to always be in constant contact with people. I don’t know and maybe my “self-will run riot” is acting up. LOL Anyway, I’ll keep coming back and I guess I’m sort of thinking out loud today.

  4. Today I can be at peace alone, with God as a companion, and I can be at peace with a host of friends. There is a difference between contemplative solitude and isolation/depression. I live alone these days, by my own choice, and find that frequent contact with other sober alcoholics is the bright spot in my day.
    A little story; the day I signed the papers and picked up the keys to my house, I left the landladies’ house and the enormity of leaving a long-term relationship and a house that I had owned and all that stuff hit me, and I begged God for help, saying I was lost and had no idea what I was doing…….when I introduced myself to my new neighbors, I found the couple across the street had 30+ years of sobriety, and the couple next door had 10 years…….probably couldn’t drink here if I wanted too!
    When I place myself in His hands…….

  5. The desire to isolate seems to be one of the many commonalities of Alcoholism. I agree that solitude and I also agree with Jack’s brilliance that isolation is solitude gone bad.

    Jack the internet gods have saved me from putting my cyber foot in my cyber mouth multiple times. (GRIN)

  6. So maybe when solitude morphs into isolation there’s my old buddy “fear” having its way with me and my ego.
    Kinda like saying ” well, nobody is the boss of me. I’m just gonna be here all by myself and nobody is gonna tell me what to do.”
    Then, if and when my attitude eventually changes a bit, I can begin to feel the presence of something else, a power greater than myself. So then I get a little perspective, a little distance from my self involvement, to see how things really are.
    The curse of being alone, separate and apart becomes the gift of peace in my heart, contemplation and nurture. Eventually I begin to think of somebody I might help.
    Used to be I’d just go get drunk; that is a miracle.
    Grateful for the Gift

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