The Jumping Off Place

I’ve heard others refer to the “jumping-off place.” I have been there, afraid to jump but at the same time afraid not to jump. I knew the Alcoholics Anonymous required a complete change in the way I lived, I was just not sure that I would be content with this change; after all a life of chaos and misery was all I ever knew, and sometimes the familiar wins out because it is familiar, sad to say. This weekend I heard of a friend who couldn’t get passed the idea of abstinence, and she died a very sad death. Each and every one of us who seek sobriety reach a point of acceptance of ourselves as alcoholics – or we continue on to the bitter end, drunk and miserable. I had to reach a place of total acceptance of my disease, and that place was Step One, the admission of my powerlessness over alcohol. Only then could I begin to see the wreckage that defined my life.

I admitted to my alcoholism that day, I came to terms with my disease that day, and I have been on God’s path since then. I’ve seen it in the newcomer it’s still just as insane as it ever was. I accept the responsibility for my program, and work to remain open and willing to try new directions, without reservations. I remain willing because I can see where the changes in the behaviors and attitudes of others has led them to a life of peace and happiness . . . and if I want what “they” have (and I do) then I have to do what “they” do.
P.S. After 2yrs and 4 months and lots of work, I received a job offer from the railroad to be part of the safety team, as a security/police officer….thank you for your prayers!! Who would’ve thought I would carry a GUN, AND work with trains!! YAHOO!!!

door-knocking-MNicoleM1

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18 thoughts on “The Jumping Off Place

  1. Congratulations Bonnie, I am so thankful to you and your shares. I always relate to a part of them or all of the thoughts. Grateful prayers for you.

  2. January 3
    Grapevine Quote
    β€œI have sometimes felt I must apologize for my happiness … I am vowing, however, to give loud support to successes, not just encouraging pats to troubles and failures. I now see successful living as a natural God-given by-product of successful sobriety. I say, go for it!”
    Bend, Ore., January 1986
    β€œLet’s Take Happiness Out of the Closet,”
    Emotional Sobriety II

    πŸ™‚ I revel in your success Sister! πŸ™‚

  3. Congrats Bonnie! And loved the writing. Just want to add how we take or perceive life. We determine whether it will be a growing point or a groaning point. Love Tree

  4. Great news Bonnie. I’d say that sounds like a safer job, but that don’t sound right. I jumped on a train as kid and is was scary as hell but that was the thrill of it. It scares me a bit that your job requires you to carry a gun, daim. I hope and pray you never have to use it. My sponsor asked me to go hunting a couple of days ago with him and another fella whom i don’t trust with a gun after having a head trauma injury so I said no. I’ve hunted with so many different fellas and some whom i thought would be ok with guns did the stupidest things. One time a buddy of mine who hunted all the time , whom i chose to go hunting with that day,slipped on the ice and threw his gun into the air while falling, then the shotgun hit the ground and blew the sole of his boot off. He was jumping around in pain but there was no penetration into his flesh but i thought, daim am I am an idiot er what. I didn’t have much sympathy for him finding he was hunting with the safety off. my daddy had another story of watching a man blow another man’s head off after setting his gun on the roof of a car during what was to be a hunting drive for white tails.They were getting thier guns out the cases and gettting organized for the drive or walk through the woods and the guns werren’t even supposed to be loaded yet. He taught me how to shoot but would never again hunt himself. It’s like riding motorcycles, watch our for the other fella. I’m grateful i’m certain you’ll be alert and aware during. I pray your com padres are careful and alert as well. I’m grateful they’ve found a place for you, hoo ray! God bless!

  5. Bonnie
    WooHoo!
    How wonderful; so happy for you.
    I just love it when good stuff happens…just love it.
    Won’t go into a long riff on fire arm safety, once upon a time I was an instructor in machine gun school, but 3D’s anecdotes get the point across.
    Blessings upon you.
    Just plain wonderful.
    Tom

  6. Great news, Bonnie!
    Sometimes, when I have been asked to do some task requiring great responsibility, I think to myself, “don’t you remember who I am?”.
    Apparently, they do remember who I am today, as a result of working this program……..

  7. Congratulations Bonnie! Get A lot of range time if you can. Hopefully you’ll never need it.
    I’m getting used to a new job myself. I’m good at what I do, but I have a hard time with sitting around some of the time waiting for some thing to break at this hospital. I don’t do “nothing” very well. I like to be busy!!!
    Change is hard for us.

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