Step Nine is about making amends, and it teaches me many things.  For one thing, I do not have to hold on to those old behaviors that make me feel so bad about myself.  I can and have apologized for them – but the true measure of my amends is my willingness to change the behavior, not just mouth the words of regret.  Step Nine further teaches me about humility, that I am a fallible human being who can and does mess up from time to time.  I have learned to forgive myself and that behavioral changes can happen . . . even for me.  I am capable of change, both great and small.  Saying “I’m sorry” may be enough amends in some situations, but in other situations further changes are needed.  In each circumstance I try to find those feelings of comfort within myself.  My body/mind seems to know when “enough is enough” when it comes to making amends to others, my job is to just “listen.”

Tomorrow I head home after 3 days of training. I am blessed beyond words.