I admire those who come to the rooms and stay. That was simply not my story, but it is for many and my hats off to them. I now view relapse as stepping on a banana peel, I just start sliding and don’t stop – until the end. There is rarely a day that goes by that I don’t have some sort of connection to the Program, be it a meeting, time with a sponsee, time on the telephone with a member, fulfillment of a service position, and then there is always this time writing to my fellow members. But there have been some weeks where one meeting was what I managed, and there have been times when my connection to my sponsor is limited, and when I isolate not feeling the need to socialize that day.

I have found that service commitments work for me. They get me off my butt and out the door. A.A. has given me both purpose and direction in my life, and I desperately need to feel needed. No one is holding me accountable – except God and my sponsor(Smile). My “program” is made up of other alcoholics, meetings, Step work, service to the Fellowship, maintaining my connection to the God of my understanding, and reading and writing about the disease of alcoholism. If I stray too far from those “parts” well then I know it’s time to “step it up” and get back into the Program ASAP. I pray that I continue on the path God has chosen for me, and I ask God for help in reminding me of just who and what I am . . . Bonnie, alcoholic, that’s my bottom line.

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