My response to problems or issues used to be “Wait a minute, that’s not right,” or NOT fair, or NOT good, or whatever other adjective you want to put in that spot. It was not a simple matter of changing some small thing, it always came back to “life” or the “system” not giving me what I believe to be my “God-given right.” I could get pretty indignant about these injustices, or perceived injustices. I was resistant to most things that required change on my part. I expected the world to change to my way of thinking, of being or of believing.

I love the fact that today I can express all my thoughts, both the positive and the negative ones. It does not mean that I have to take action on these thoughts, but I can recognize them, let them sit for a moment, and then discard them like old worn out socks. I am not alone when it comes to negative thinking, it was my first response for years and years, I’m just happy that today I can accept that they will come, in time, and that all I need do is “feel the feelings” and then let them go. I do not have to beat myself up for having negative thoughts, I am not in control of my thoughts, they come on their own. It’s how I react to them that matters. They no longer drive my actions, and they no longer control me. They do not make me a bad person for having bad thoughts – we are all subject to them. I thank God and the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous for enabling me to come to this understanding, and for helping me to grow and change through the recovery process, and for always being there for me – to teach me acceptance, acceptance of me and acceptance of others.
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