It takes a concentrated effort for me to remain honest, I have to check myself constantly. Making myself “nicer” than I really am comes fairly easy to me. I want to seem nicer, kinder, more in tune with whomever I’m talking with, so I tend to omit certain things, while at the same time adding other things – both of which are really not true. I really want to be the person I project, but I quite often fall short of that goal. Most of the time I catch myself and correct the deception on the spot. But there are still other times when I let it be and tell myself it’s really a small lie and really doesn’t affect the real truth. I deceive myself into believing that my deception is a minor thing and therefore doesn’t count.
I am finding that I am not so different from others there. There seems to be a likeness, in many respects, to Alcoholics Anonymous. It seems to be inclusive, not exclusive. Different living arrangements are accepted. Different social status, or different beliefs – all seem to be accepted. Acceptance, for me, seems to be the key here, as I have always lived in the belief that I was not acceptable to others. I have been made to feel welcomed and accepted – and the most amazing part is that I don’t have to lie about anything. I am who I am – and that’s okay. I believe Honesty and Open Mindedness is an enhancement of my journey in recovery, and I believe it will lead me to the “Road of a Happy Destiny.”