“We are only as sick as our secrets.” Boy, how many times have I heard that said. I believe in opening my heart and mind, and shining the light of God’s love on all my “dark places.” I don’t like secrets – to begin with I’m not very good at keeping the secrets of others, I forget and sometime say the wrong thing to the wrong person, and they somebody, somewhere is going to be mad – for some reason. Secrets can turn around and bite me on the rear end. In particular, I don’t like my secrets – those that are about my misbehavior or poor conduct, they make me feel bad about me – and they hang on until the very end, always there nudging me, and whispering in my ear that I cannot be a good person, that people just don’t do whatever it is I have done.

The bottom line for me is that we all have secrets of some type lurking there within us. Ridding my self of those secrets sets me free to continue on this path to a Higher Purpose. Releasing the lies I have told myself, brings me to the reality that serves to be my true world. I am human, I am capable of error, just as I am capable of great kindnesses; I am both good and bad. But when that is combined with alcohol it is usually the “bad behavior” that surfaces. Over the past years in recovery I have found that I have both good and bad traits, and today I work towards expanding the good behaviors, and ridding myself of the defects of character that have been defining my life. My “shortcomings” are just that today, as the result of the Program of A.A., they are “short” to be “coming.” Today’s life is more about healing, loving, forgiving, respecting others and myself, and giving myself to God, to do with as He wills. I am becoming – a different person, a sober woman, a loving friend, and someone who no longer harbors deep, dark secrets, to the best of my ability.
candle-flame-vector-212

Advertisements