I Need Help

I find it hard to ask for help – when I clearly need it. I think part of that is this aging process, I don’t want to admit to being less “strong” than I was, or unable to perform as I once did. Some of it is also this grand and glorious ego that surely does not want to admit not knowing something. Asking for advice and asking for help are clearly two different things. I fully believe asking for advice is wanting someone to validate my decision or my choice. I see this practiced when it comes to sponsoring, as we do in the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous. There are no two sponsors who sponsor others exactly alike, sponsoring is as individual as the people who perform this selfless act of hope and faith. I believe I sponsor others in the hope of their sobriety and recovery.

In so far as suggestion goes, I do seek suggestions of others with more experience than myself and I do watch and learn from others whenever I can. I do listen to those whose lives I aspire to. When I take an honest look at my behavior when it comes to asking for help, I can see where improvement is needed, but I can also see that I have made some progress in this area – from the days of old, when I tried to rule the world all by myself. I know I am not the ruler of the world, I try to focus on just helping my world work for me, one day at a time – and with God’s help I am making progress. But it takes more than just me, I work towards progress with the help of my Higher Power, God.
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6 thoughts on “I Need Help

  1. I repeatedly was arrested for DUI.
    Do you think I asked anyone for help? 😦
    I woke up almost every morning with a hangover.
    Do you think I am asking anyone for help? 😦
    I threw all the furniture in the den through one of the Windows.
    Did I ask anyone for help? 😦
    Yes I had to ask a carpenter to come repaired the damage. 😦
    That’s what I called”manageable”.– Oh woe was me. 😦
    A long time later I was advised that if my life was so manageable all these things would never have happened.
    Finally I got “sick and tired of being sick and tired” of these and many other things which resulted in The Worst of All Things; a “Soul Sickness” and with just barely enough humility I came to my first meeting. 🙂
    Today I am happy to understand that this is a “We Program” and everyone is blessed by both asking for and receiving help. 🙂

  2. Yesterday morning I drove a little over an hour for a Unity Council meeting where they had some delicious donuts, then went to breakfast with 5 of them where they had homemade bread and a wonderful wait staff. I got home around 1 and was visting with another neighbor when another ole friend showed to collect moral mushrooms. We picked a pound or two pretty quickly and talked a bit about his addcition but he didn’t stick around for long. It’s ok I still love him and if that’s the way he wants to live then so be it. if he only knew how much it would help me and the others around him if he chose sobriety but I do know he knows what I do to stay sober and will help him if he so chooses.
    At breakfast yesterday we talked of all the horrible things we’ve seen people do in AA such as the predators and people stealing money, yadda yadda and I think back to how some have interupted our place of sanctuary and lashed out at us here but what happens outside AA happens inside AA. However I’m quite certain the people here are of high moral standard and wonderful examples of what AA can do for a broken individual which helps many. I’m so very blessed to have stumbled upon this motley crew and I think that was God laying at my feet some of the help I needed and still need, someday’s more-so and someday’s not so much. I try to be a part of this group but someday’s life swallows me up as I have much work to do to be a productive member of society. I still need help and continue to search for new ways of asking for help as it is wise to learn through what others already know. God bless!

    • it was explained to me that if I couldn’t attract sponsees it may be because they don’t want what I have. keep trudging trudgers.

  3. My wife told me that asking someone else for help can be a true gift to them.
    She is pretty wise and usually when she says something like that, which sounds really counter intuitive, I just kinda block it out.
    It’s really so much nicer of her than just telling me I can be an arrogant, prideful scared little boy.
    I am not naturally too good at healthy intimacy; you guys had to teach it to me.
    Good thing we’ve got our meetings, where we eventually learn to stay sober by thinking less about ourselves and more about others and what we can do to help the still suffering…including showing our heart.
    Intimacy?
    Humility?
    Sobriety?
    Thank God for AA.

  4. as and when i help others, particularly those in the program, i receive help in return. just last night at the meeting after the meeting i mentioned that i was probably able to sponsor another. not 20 minutes later i was asked if i could help get him get started on his step 4, he was confused and his current sponsor never seems available. we will meet tomorrow evening.
    find God – clean house – help others.

  5. My unwillingness to ask for help is one thing and one thing only: pride. It is the sin that separates, isolates and then kills. And the paradox of pride is that as long as I’m unwilling to admit I’m a proud person, there’s no help.

    Recovery got a lot easier when I recognized that the same mind that created the problem wasn’t going to solve the problem. The quality of the advice I received upon asking wasn’t nearly as important as the epiphany that I didn’t have good answers to the problem of me. You guys led me to a personal relationship with a God that takes me back whenever pride takes me away, as long as I ask. As long as I ask. As long as I ask…

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