Stuff Happens

I am never without problems, of one sort or another. What I have learned in recovery is that there are lessons to be learned from problems – and their solutions. There is no shame in having problems – everybody has them. Trying to deny my issues can cause me to develop more problems, as most of the time it means that feelings of guilt and shame have surfaced.

I do not have to feel shame about my problems – I mean, we all have them. Things break down, people disagree, my mouth says stupid stuff, money runs short, I forget something important… as the bumper sticker says “_ _ it happens!” Problems happen in recovery, all the time. Just because I got sober does not mean that all my problems will go away – that just doesn’t happen. But through the process of recovery I learn new ways of solving problems and resolving issues that can arise. I believe that I learn more from problems than I do from not having problems. They teach me what to do, how to do it, and just as important – when to do it – whatever “it” is. Solving problems without feeling shame is something learned, a day at a time. I am better at solving problems today than I was before recovery. I am better at accepting the gift of problems, as a source for learning new behaviors and new ways of “dealing” with life. There is no shame in having problems, the real shame might be not being willing to learn the lessons within the problem. I continue to live and hopefully, to learn.
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9 thoughts on “Stuff Happens

  1. “STUFF HAPPENS”
    it did and that was the problem. It triggered a compulsion which was fueled by an obsession to take a drink of liquor. šŸ˜¦
    It still does but now it triggers a desire to solve the problem if indeed it is my job with the Spiritual tools provided ā€“ For instance love, joy, peace, patience and understanding.
    And in so doing my life is filled with love, joy, peace, patience and understanding. šŸ™‚

  2. Good morning folks. It dropped below freezing this morning here in Tawas and it seems to have brought a flurry of feathered friends to the hummingbird feeder. They’ve been a little more aggressive between each other fighting for the apparently rare food source round here er whatever, maybe it’s a domination thing i dunno but it sure is pretty watching these brightly colored creatures 3 feet from the window sucking up the koolaid.
    Then after pondering and praying about my neighbor who lost his wife the other day to an aneurism at 53 and then the news casting about a rash of overdoses due to heroin,knowing the bad dope got an old associate or mine a a week ago, it makes me grateful. Thinking about the mortality of others knowing I am alive and can participate in life today helps me be grateful.
    Congrats on the nicotine Tom!

    i got an email this morning about a couple of knuckleheads who started a competing AA meeting same day same time same city twenty miles away. Way to go boys! lol

  3. The real victories are victories over sin and temptation, leading to a victorious and abundant life. Therefore, keep a brave and trusting heart.

    So my interpretation of the above from thought for the day, is that if I keep working on my character defects, asking hp for help to do thy will instead of my own, then I may be able to live each day with emotional sobriety, physical sobriety, and not be caught up in me, me, me.

  4. Eventually, I came to see a momentary clearing on the surface of the stream as it babbled amongst the rocks…for a split second there was a lens through which I peered into the depths at the smoothly finning trout, gently swaying on the current sipping on invisible nymphs. I picked my way past, quietly on the stream bank and saw the tiniest vee behind the fin of another one sliding in a larger arc supping on the same larval ephemera. And at the tail of the pool I glimpsed a ghosting shape doing the same.
    There were trout where I thought there were none. My greedy mind seized on a cunning plan whereby I would first catch the bottom one, take him quietly down stream and then pick off the other two.
    My heart filled at the pristine scene.
    I sat and watched.
    There were fish, after all.
    There was enough.
    I was still.
    I left them, undisturbed.
    I had been fulfilled.
    First my drinking, now my fishing.
    Geez.

    • That’s “A River Runs Through It” stuff Tom, brilliant! I’m a hunter, never too interested in the body count but less so now. My brother and I own a piece of duck hunting land together; over the years, we’ve focused much more on providing habitat and much less on the harvest. Increasingly, I’m more attuned to the work of building than the accomplishment of having done so, finding more than adequate reward in the joy of the work. I think there’s a recovery lesson in there somewhere…focus on the process and find happiness. Seek happiness and find nothing. Maybe, I’m not sure.

  5. Problems come and go. I learn to deal with them by saying to myself, What would my HP do it this instance? I pray for his knowledge and his will for the day and try to be as patient as possible and the problem seems to work it way to a solution. The program of AA and my belief of God has brought me here for a purpose, he will bring me to the end of my journey with all the like minded people I know and will meet.

  6. Top of the morning family,
    Why do I feel at times, unhappy, anxious, unsettle, and discontent? My human weaknesses are restlessness, irritability and bedevilments. Anxiety always takes my eyes off what is truth. Unless I experience a psychic change there is very little hope for recovery. The steps provide me spiritual tools that provide a manageable life. My old self relied on my leftovers. These old leftovers were emotions and attitudes left over from the way I was raised. Today, my sense of security comes not from glittery / shiny possessions, but from a personal relationship with my Creator.
    Today is a good day to have stuff happen.

  7. I’m better at dealing with “Stuff” today, than I was even a month or a year ago.
    It just keeps coming though….

  8. Ahhh anxiety one of my toughest character defects. When your immersed in it, especially in the beginning of my sobriety, it was so hard to see a way out. My tools now are prayer (even if it is rote prayer) and Yoga. Keeps my mind off myself both physically and mentally and if patient, it slowly brings me to the spiritual, in the here and now.

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