In retrospect, it seems as though I have been resentful for most of my life. Always feeling as if others had more of the good things that were missing in my life. If I did anything for someone, I certainly expected a “payment” of some sort, be it money or a similar payback. My thinking was so skewed that I truly believed that God was punishing me for my bad behaviors. I was self-centered to the max, it (whatever “it” was) was always someone else’s fault if it concerned a poor attitude or behavior. I would not hesitate to claim the good things in my life – rare though they were. But the truth of the matter was that I was self-centered, self-absorbed, and just plain selfish.
In the Program there are many forms of service. There is service to the Fellowship which can mean serving in the capacity of Secretary, Chair, or other “Trusted Servants” positions. There is service to my fellow travelers on this road to “a happy destiny” by means of sponsorship, and just plain talking and sharing our “story” with another. There is much to learn, much to experience and much to do on the path to recovery, and each and every one of us serve as an example to others of what it means to be sober, and what it means to live a life of sobriety. Drinking and my insane life took up all my time – and then I walked through the doors of A.A. and found a place of peace, love and understanding. A meeting lasts an hour, some longer, but lets say an hour for this writing; that hour gives me the strength and humility to survive the other 23 hours of that day. It is a form of helping others that we all participate in, and most of the time we do not know how we help another, or if we do – someone, somewhere will hear exactly what they need to hear, of that you may be assured. This Program has not lasted over 80 years without good cause – with the help of A.A. and a God of my understanding, I can tell you that it has done for me what I could not do for myself – and for that I shall be eternally grateful.