For many years I tried to hide from life, shame and doubt were my companions. But I’ve always had this notion in the back of my mind that I was meant to live large. And here I am in the “latter” years of my life, and I am just now beginning to live big. I no longer live in shame and regret. It feels good to be exactly who I am, where I am and when I am. I don’t try to live by the standards of others, now I work to live by the spiritual principles of the Program, and my own standards. I never had any standards before recovery, I was always trying to emulate others; how they dressed, behaved and looked. I have grown up in the Program, in many ways.But I am still human. If I don’t stay VIGILANT, old behaviours creep back in….and I make mistakes and must make amends. I still hurt the people I love most in the world…IF…I don’t practice the principles in ALL my affairs. It doesn’t happen very often, but when it does, it feels like a death. I am a sober member of AA. First and foremost, that is the most important thing. The rest comes with practice, and for THAT I am grateful!
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