Happy Times

For many years I tried to hide from life, shame and doubt were my companions. But I’ve always had this notion in the back of my mind that I was meant to live large. And here I am in the “latter” years of my life, and I am just now beginning to live big. I no longer live in shame and regret. It feels good to be exactly who I am, where I am and when I am. I don’t try to live by the standards of others, now I work to live by the spiritual principles of the Program, and my own standards. I never had any standards before recovery, I was always trying to emulate others; how they dressed, behaved and looked. I have grown up in the Program, in many ways.But I am still human. If I don’t stay VIGILANT, old behaviours creep back in….and I make mistakes and must make amends. I still hurt the people I love most in the world…IF…I don’t practice the principles in ALL my affairs. It doesn’t happen very often, but when it does, it feels like a death. I am a sober member of AA. First and foremost, that is the most important thing. The rest comes with practice, and for THAT I am grateful!
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9 thoughts on “Happy Times

  1. “…… something better than gold”

    Or would it be, “Looking for love in all the wrong places”.

    On a cold and rainy night in January 1987 I had circled the block of the building in the part of town which also had several adult bookstores and my courage was slowly building to go into my first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. I was running late. (You know what they say about being late for your first meeting; the only meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous we are ever late for is our first one).
    It was a storefront building with a swinging glass door at the intentions and inside it was smoky. It seemed that everyone was smoking for in those days 80 or 90% of recovering alcoholics were also smokers (wonder why?) I also was at that time.
    Of course I didn’t know what I was going to find inside but I had a wavering assurance that this was the place for getting help with a drinking problem.
    Like the gaunt prospector I had already drawn my belt in to the last notch. I weighed approximately 160 pounds; about 25 pounds below my normal weight. I was about three days off my last 13 day binge and just beginning to be functional enough to try living again. Even though I was shaky and unsteady I lit a cigarette and had a seat. The nearby people smiled and shook my hand.
    They were reading, “How It Works” which I hardly heard.
    They took turns speaking when recognized by the chairperson but before speaking they introduced themselves by saying “I’m……………, I’m an alcoholic”.
    When I was recognized as a new person in the conclave I said, “I’m Harry, I’m an alcoholic”.

    The meeting was a large meeting which broke into two groups and I went with one to the upstairs meeting room.
    As is usual in meetings there was a time for voluntary donations as the hat was passed and I only had one bill in my wallet, a twenty which I kind of reluctantly put in the basket. Later I have taken this as a sure sign that I needed to be restored to sanity since I was motivated only by the fear of what others would think of me.

    Lots of people shared their experience strength and hope with me with the implied assurance of finding a solution to the problems with drinking by coming and participating in this program.

    After the meeting formally concluded there was lots of handshaking, genuine friendliness and many invitations to, “Keep Coming Back”.

    30
    July
    GIVING BACK
    . . . he has struck something better than gold. . . .He may not see at once that he has barely scratched a limitless lode which will pay dividends only if he mines it for the rest of his life and insists on giving away the entire product.
    — ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 129
    My part of the Seventh Tradition means so much more than just giving money to pay for the coffee. It means being accepted for myself by belonging to a group. For the first time I can be responsible, because I have a choice. I can learn the principles of working out problems in my daily life by getting involved in the “business” of A.A. By being self-supporting, I can give back to A.A. what A.A. gave to me! Giving back to A.A. not only ensures my own sobriety, but allows me to buy insurance that A.A. will be here for my grandchildren.
    — From the book Daily Reflections

    I’m Harry, grateful alcoholic. – Georgia, US of A.

  2. I sit here pondering of the coming days events and ask that he give me the knowledge of his will for me and the power to carry that out asking him once again that I do the right thing today.

  3. Top of the morning family,
    I use to base all my decisions on my own reasoning/self survival, feelings, or other’s people’s advice. I placed security in people, possessions/the glittery stuff, and job positions. I set myself up for a massive life of pain and misery. We all make countless decisions/choices throughout the day. Each selection will determine whether I live wisely or foolishly. Today, I understand that my choices have consequences. The most important factor is whether or not I seek divine guidance in my choices. Circumstances in my life haven’t change. It’s how I react and respond that has changed.
    It is what it is…..
    Funny how postponing a drink can work for us.
    It’s a good day to have a good day.

  4. Hi guys
    Back from hospital, lost 15 lbs, prognosis very good
    Thank you for well wishes
    Went to first meeting in ten days, how lovely
    Grateful for the gift.
    Tom

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