I was in a deep in a slump of emotional pain when I first came to the tables. I was desperate enough to keep my seat at the tables, despite this pain I was feeling. It is said that we only have to change one thing in recovery – but that one thing is everything. However, I was also told that if I continue to work the Program, the pain would subside – and I wanted that more than anything. I was beaten, and my spirit was broken – now I know I was blessed with the complete and utter feeling of desperation. I had arrived at the “last house on the block,” there was no where else to go – it was either the bleak hole of addiction or the bright hope of the Program. I could see the Program at work in the lives of others in the rooms, and I wanted what they had. I became “willing” at my very first meeting.

Yes, there was discomfort at first, but I am so glad that I stayed in spite of that fact. Making changes in my life has never been an easy thing for me to do, but I am very grateful that God graced me with the tenacity I needed. Recovery takes time, it just does, and yes, there will be moments of discomfort, but the other side of that discomfort is the greatest peace I have ever known. I had to literally hold onto my seat, initially, and I am so glad I was able to do that. I have surrendered to a Higher Power, I am comfortable in my own skin, I am willing to do whatever it takes to remain sober – and for all that and so much more, I thank the Program.