I was told early in my recovery to constantly check my motives, and my expectations-I have taken that advice to heart. I’m surprised, at times, to find that I do have expectations. My motives can get a little murky at times. As an alcoholic I can swing wide from being a person who has no faith in my goodness, to one who only thinks of herself, and what benefits I will gain from my acts of kindness. Thank goodness for Step Ten which gives me the process I need to inventory my behaviors. Sometimes in my analysis of my “giving behavior” I just do the deed and say to heck with my “motives.” Somethings just need to be done. I give rides to members for a variety of reasons-from going to meetings to appointments. I work to remain true to myself, and try to express my feelings, without making the other person feel bad. It takes a lot of courage to constantly be asking for rides, and while I understand the need, I don’t always want to be the one to provide the ride. So I work to be true in expressing my feelings – and if I don’t want to do it, I can say no. 9 times out of 10 though….I am there!!! ♥
sunrise1

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