Oh To Be Kind

I was told early in my recovery to constantly check my motives, and my expectations-I have taken that advice to heart. I’m surprised, at times, to find that I do have expectations. My motives can get a little murky at times. As an alcoholic I can swing wide from being a person who has no faith in my goodness, to one who only thinks of herself, and what benefits I will gain from my acts of kindness. Thank goodness for Step Ten which gives me the process I need to inventory my behaviors. Sometimes in my analysis of my “giving behavior” I just do the deed and say to heck with my “motives.” Somethings just need to be done. I give rides to members for a variety of reasons-from going to meetings to appointments. I work to remain true to myself, and try to express my feelings, without making the other person feel bad. It takes a lot of courage to constantly be asking for rides, and while I understand the need, I don’t always want to be the one to provide the ride. So I work to be true in expressing my feelings – and if I don’t want to do it, I can say no. 9 times out of 10 though….I am there!!! ♥
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9 thoughts on “Oh To Be Kind

  1. I received George H.W. Bush’s biography for Xmas and some parts I’ve found interesting. (I’m not a big political “junkie” and try to ignore most of it.) The beginning talked about H.W.’s mother trying to keep him humble and told him to never focus on himself. She cautioned him against constantly focusing on the “The Great I am.” This made me laugh and also think about my mother who would sing “Me me me, me me me meeeee” as if doing warm-up scales (in singing lessons) whenever we’d talk about ourselves too much. She did this to my father as well and probably to irritate him. LOL I happy to be sober today and have to get to a f2f meeting this week and get back in my routine. Had a drinking dream last night. Strange and a good reminder and welcome them I suppose, but a bit weird and vivid. Have a good day!

  2. Step 1: “Admitted we are powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.”

    Some people take this to mean global powerlessness over so many things and I really don’t believe this is why God put us on this planet.

    So; “.. Admitted I am powerless over alcohol…………..”.
    Amen!
    … that our lives had become unmanageable”.
    Notice the force of the verbs;

    am,are – present tense and continuous verbs.

    My powerlessness in this situation continues.

    had – past tense verb.

    My powerlessness was over once I found the strength of this fellowship and the almighty presence and power of Eternal God as I understand him and has continued now far nigh onto 29 years.

    “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.” — English Proverb

    I’m Harry, grateful 12th stepper.

  3. I am powerless after the first drink. If I take a drink I can not reliably predict the outcome. Today I’m grateful that I am predictable in my behavior and trusted by the community. I gave that fella ride last night and he weaseled his way into my pocket again. He said he gets paid today and will pay me back after I gave him some shit about the last four dollars that he said he put back in the basket. I’m like why did you do that? So another four backs aint gonna break me but we all know it cant continue for long.Im grateful I had four bucks to loan him, yeah right aye. I still consider these high class problems. I get to go to work today and a meeting later with certainty I have to pick up a couple other folks. Have a nice warm day folks and God Bless.

  4. So it feels like a good question for me…when I am trying to sort out the next right thing. Is it kind? Why am I doing this? I mean, really?
    So we ask each morning to be shown the way of kindliness, patience, tolerance and love.
    So I’ve got my marching orders.
    Grateful for the Gift

  5. I was born and raised in a small town and poor neighborhood. I learned to be kind from my Mom and Dad. Even though we did not have much, my parents would feed the hobos (homeless) as they passed through our town on the railroad (SMB knows). I was young and my Mom or Dad would hold my hand as we went outside to give the Hobos each a bag with something to eat. Everyone would say thank you, and may God bless you. At a very young age, this showed me love, kindness, to help others, and the hand of security. While I was a practicing alcoholic, I still managed to be kind, and help others. Alcohol had replaced my love of myself, others and the hand of security. I took a few years wallowing in a bottomless pit, before I seeked the help of God, AA, family and friends. I could not get sober and change my behaviors without help. Thank God, that today I have and practice what my Parents taught me: Love, Kindness, to Help Others, Gratitude, and to have Security in my Life. God and the AA program and fellowship give me the security and support to continue my road of recovery.

  6. Top of the morning family,
    When I wake up every day, I’m faced with many choices. My attitudes of pride and selfishness are always there. I’m not responsible for what I think. I’m totally responsible for my actions and words.That’s my part. I own my words, behaviors, and actions. I don’t own your thoughts, feelers, or thinking.

    As God’s people we stand on our feet; we don’t crawl before anyone.
    BB Into Action, p.83

    I can choose to speak words of kindness. I enjoy receiving kind words and by using kind words I can brighten someone else’s day. A few kind words to myself always changes my attitude and the course of my day.
    Today, kindness is a virtue in action.
    Kindness is not weakness, but strength.
    I can do this. For Divine Mercy requires this of me.

    It’s a good day to have a 9 out of 10 good day.

  7. Motives are like deep waters.
    Even concerning faith, my motives are still “what’s in it for me?”
    I’ll never be rid of self centeredness!

  8. I am kt an alcoholic who does not cringe when I say that like I used to. I like the reference to
    Step 10. I can be going along and suddenly I go oh, this behavior ( mine ) exudes self serving attributes. So it is also good for me to keep searching and growing in my recovery as I still have those words in my head from my sponsor, in a loud voice Your sobriety is the most important thing.
    Thanks good to read all the shares. Kt

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