(Reflection and Photo courtesy of Maggs)
“If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness and you will be free. Even when you don’t really want it for them, and your prayers are only words and you don’t mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it everyday for two weeks and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love.”

Big Book., 3rd Ed. P 552


7 thoughts on “RESENTMENTS

  1. JANUARY 18
    By going back in our own drinking histories, we could show
    that years before we realized it we were out of control, that
    our drinking even then was no mere habit, that it was
    indeed the beginning of a fatal progression.

    Kent F., my old sponsor said, “There is not a single thing for us alcoholics that a drink of liquor will make better but it will surely make you and them worse”.
    This certainly rings true for me.
    For me to know this I must take the broad view of my drinking experience.
    It must include the jails, courts of law, wrecked cars, wrecked lives etc.

    I’m Harry, grateful 12th stepper.

  2. Prayer works. It’s worked for me and It’s worked for my elders. It irked me too and I couldnt’ wrap my head around why I would want to pray for them. I just wanted my anger gone knowing it was incessantly poisoning my happiness. So I prayed for them, for their health wealth and prosperity for a couple weeks and things changed. My attitude changed and their attitude changed and we no longer have that firey eveil look in our eyes towards each other when we see each other at meetings. it’s even changed the way my heart thinks, no longer feeling she’s pure evil as my mother believes. We talked about prayer again last week with my sponsor and every morning he prays to God just asking him to teach him what he needs to know each day so as not complicate it. I dont know if I pray more than him and it doesnt matter but I try and use the 11th step prayer every morning and thanking him for another day sober and of life. I do know I cant pray enough but I’m adding my you folks to my prayers tdoay as i usually do

  3. Thanks for the topic Maggs. Identifying resentments was and is key in my recovery. Once I identified them I then promptly made amends. This process is so important that I believe that the AA founders made steps 8, 9, and 10 to help the practicing and recovering alcoholic treat people as they would treat themselves. When someone does wrong to me, I appreciate an apology. Again, it is God’s Will not mime.

  4. Top of the Monday Maggie’s morning family,
    Wonderful reflection. Sweet pic.
    I’ve been searching for that passage. Back to the other day’s topic,”procrastinaton”. I wasn’t in the mood? to search it out. I wasn’t in the mood? to ask? However, I was in the mood to venture to This24. I was in the mood to hear with new ears, see with new eyes.

    It mattered little whether our resentments were justified or not.
    12×12 p90
    – self likes to settle the score!
    – self enjoy being one up!

    Resentment’s manifest with expectation’s seedlings; they will grow if unchecked. Expectations are resentments in a escrow account. They be just waiting and gaining interest. To me, steps are fool proof. They’re a direct assault against pride, envy, and greed. The steps combat self. Self doesn’t likey to feel uncomfortable. What omnipotent power that is graced upon us. All for His kingdom, power, and glory!
    And all I have to do is search, ask, and take action.

    Today, I’m learning:
    I can’t live up to your expectations.
    You can’t live up to my expectations.
    And self can’t live up to self’s moving goal posts.

    I destroy my enemy; if I make him a friend. Abraham Lincoln.
    It’s a good to have a good day.

  5. Wonderful subject and shares…will add that the praying/ forgiving thing, for me, took longer than two weeks in a couple of cases…but it did work and freed me sufficiently to continue to progress along the path.
    The suggestion, if I recall, came from a magazine article cited in one of the last stories in the BB about a woman getting over life long resentment to her mother.
    So we are forgiven our trespasses as ( because?, at the same time?, to the same degree?) we forgive those who trespass against us.
    Sure works better than my old approach… Get resentful, get drunk, do something stupid and be miserable.
    Grateful for the Gift

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