I know that every new bit of growth take effort and concentration until it becomes a part of my life. Relationships don’t get better in and of themselves. It takes commitment and effort. Communications long couched in mutual blame-laying must be replaced with the ability to say how I feel and to accept responsibility for my feelings without laying the cause of them on another. By using the “I” in stating my thoughts, sensory experience, feelings, intentions, and actions, instead of “You,” “We,” and “Us,” I take responsibility for myself and allow others to take responsibility for themselves. Before I can accept my powerlessness in dependency, as the dependent or co-dependent, I need to eliminate blame from my thoughts, attitude, and communications. Only then will I be able to be responsible in my relationships. Responsibility, then, is the ability to fulfill my needs, and to do this in a way that does not deprive others of the ability to fulfill their needs. (From Stepping Stones to Recovery)

"I feel so much better when we're together." Mother was right, he thought. She's just using me -? for medicinal purposes.

Advertisements