Codependency Happens!

I know that every new bit of growth take effort and concentration until it becomes a part of my life. Relationships don’t get better in and of themselves. It takes commitment and effort. Communications long couched in mutual blame-laying must be replaced with the ability to say how I feel and to accept responsibility for my feelings without laying the cause of them on another. By using the “I” in stating my thoughts, sensory experience, feelings, intentions, and actions, instead of “You,” “We,” and “Us,” I take responsibility for myself and allow others to take responsibility for themselves. Before I can accept my powerlessness in dependency, as the dependent or co-dependent, I need to eliminate blame from my thoughts, attitude, and communications. Only then will I be able to be responsible in my relationships. Responsibility, then, is the ability to fulfill my needs, and to do this in a way that does not deprive others of the ability to fulfill their needs. (From Stepping Stones to Recovery)

"I feel so much better when we're together." Mother was right, he thought. She's just using me -? for medicinal purposes.

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7 thoughts on “Codependency Happens!

  1. Nearing 29 years Sobriety and still trudging.

    Lots of times I wonder how I did it?

    🙂 Must’ve had a lot of help! 🙂

    I’m Harry, grateful 12th stepper.

  2. haha, love the cartoon. i dont like it when people use the word, ” You” in their shares because it does deflect responsibility. I am only responsible for my actions, etc. I was very sick when i came in and still am but its’ getting better. Thanks, Dan grateful alcoholic.

  3. Quiet a nuanced thing for me, this independent, codependent, dependent continuum.
    As I have emotionally matured it has, with more than a few bangs, clangs, and false starts become easier and easier for me to just be me and to enjoy you being you.
    My fellow trudgers show me how to depend on The Great Spirit and how to consistently practice our marvellous principles to uncover the tender beauty within myself and between others. As I begin to care about others, from a proper perspective and in better alignment with reality, my usefulness increases without inappropriate intrusion or exclusion. I feel safe and protected by He Who Has All Power.
    On a good day.
    And on a not so good day, I know the work to do.
    Use to be I’d just get pissed and vomit my ego all over everyone and everything.
    Grateful for the Gift

    • Love it Tom S, all over everyone/everything. And for me, a lot of ego splatter/cast offs on self. That be the nugget for me today.

  4. Top of the morning family,
    “responsible in my” you, we, us, them, they, and I “relationships”

    Okayly dokaly, what’s my part?
    Do I have the power to control others?! Are others responsible for my actions/responses!?
    Tradition 2: there is but one ultimate authority- a loving God.
    – Either God is or He isn’t.
    Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than self could restore us to sanity.
    – Either God is or He isn’t.
    For me, I’ve joined the winning daily bread team. Divine Mercy leads me and delivers me. His love is always free.

    In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway ~ Mother Teresa.

    It’s a good day to have a good day.

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