I’m getting better at expressing my feelings. I still work to consider them valid, or just as genuine as the feelings of others. In the past I would look to others and then try to emulate their feelings, even when they were contrary to my own. Today, I try for more honesty when it comes to my feelings – emotional honesty is so much more complex and difficult than “pocketbook” honesty. Telling another that I disagree with them is not so frightening as it once was. I am – I am important to me, I am a legitimate person with valid feelings – I am.
I am also responsible for my expressing my feelings. I am responsible for what comes out of my mouth. I am responsible for my behavior, as the result of my feelings. I don’t have to react to every feeling I have, I can just feel it, release it and get on with my recovery. I used to be driven by my feelings, and much of those feelings were anger based – as I lived a life of being a victim, therefore justifying those angry feelings. I am responsible for me. “The most beneficial act we can perform is to be true to ourselves, and let others take responsibility for themselves.” Taking responsibility for myself is a big step forward, away from trying to take care of the whole World, and towards simply taking care of me.