Well trudgers, back home I go, away from the ocean. The God of my understanding has blessed me with a new found love of self. I’ve prayed and worked hard to stay on course. With a new sponsor, the steps, and meetings, I am certain this change that has taken place in my recovery is a lesson learned. We only have today. THIS24!!! Blessings to you all.
Recovery comes in many forms. Not just AA. But truthfully, my family here at This24 has rallied around this alkie and I am BLESSED. I was in such a dark abyss that my spiritual self was gone along with my God who has never forsaken me. Grief is a dangerous emotion as I’ve now learned. However, with outside help, and the love of all my fellow trudgers, Sisters and Brothers in Sobriety-you know who are…..
I’m back on the road to happy destiny. As it says on pg 164 in the Big Book; Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit. May God Bless you and keep you-until then!!
I know that the problem of drinking requires more than human solutions, it requires a spiritual power. Recently, I’ve come to terms with that, and my recovery began in earnest. Turning my drinking problem over to the care of a Higher Power, a power greater than myself, was but a beginning of my new journey to sobriety. This is Steps One through Three. And it took the rallying of sober friends plus a smidgen of faith, just a moment of being open and willing to consider the possibility of a power greater than me, greater than my disease. The spirit of God was at work in the lives of others around the tables, was it not then possible that it would work for me once again, as well? I came to believe – powerful words. All I had to do was “keep the faith,” and God did the rest. The spirit of love, the spirit of faith, and the spirit of acceptance all combined to give me the willingness to consider faith as an ally. I am grateful, and truly humbled before God, whose power has graced my life with peace, serenity and a joy beyond measure…one more time.
I have seen people go to very extraordinary lengths to help their fellow AA members, with no expectation of anything in return. Whether in ordinary suffering or in grave crisis, sober alcoholics in AA tend to rally around each other. Food, shelter, jobs, loans, transportation, living assistance, and in the end, hospice – help of every kind is given without hesitation. I once heard the story of a priest in New York who was preparing to give a sermon and was visited by a newly sober friend who looked very shaky and upset. The friend said his wife had decided to leave him, so he was ready to give up on his sobriety and go get a drink. The priest asked him to wait until the sermon was over, and the friend agreed. It was a very large church with a big congregation. Toward the end of the service, the priest said “Most of you will not understand what I am about to say, but that’s okay. If there are any friends of Bill in the audience, please meet me in the hallway.” Over fifty people stood up and proceeded to the hallway. They took care of the newly sober man for the next three days until he could regain his footing. I love this story, and it is not unique. I feel the same way today…with all of you reading this, as you have been my saving grace. Thank you!!
I can claim sobriety and that’s huge for me. It is the one thing that gives me the courage to believe that I can make changes in other areas of my life, that I do not have to remain a “failure” in my own eyes. But rather than beat myself up for what I do not do, or I did wrong – – I choose to applaud my efforts, however small they may be. I am human and am capable of errors, all the time. I know I will make mistakes, I will not achieve every goal I set for myself and I will stumble and fall once in a while. Accepting my missteps enables me to try again, to forgive myself of my humanity. I am good enough today, I know this to be true for me – and others. I am in competition with myself, no one else. I gave up trying to “outdo” others, now my standards and goals are more spiritual in nature. I try to do what I believe God wants me to do. I am on track, and on course with my life. And am Sober TODAY!
Coming to an acceptance of myself as an imperfect human being has given me the right to be wrong. On page 76 of the Big Book, you will find the following prayer: “My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good, and bad. I pray that you will now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows. Grant me strength as I go out from here to do Your bidding. Amen,”
I am still in a learning process, and gratefully still able to comprehend new ideas, and new ways of viewing and dealing with old problems. It doesn’t seem to matter how old I am, or how long I’ve been in recovery, new lessons appear, almost daily. I’m learning patience – with others, with life, with God. I am still learning to give unconditional love to others, and to be open to the love I receive from others. I am still learning that I, myself, am not important, but what I do can make a difference to others, if I am giving and trusting. I sincerely trust in the truth that I am right where I am supposed to be . . . that all will work out in God’s plan, if I can just Let Go and Let God. Just for today, I have today…and that is a BLESSING! Back to meetings and step work, a NEW LIFE!
This is from “The Professor and the Paradox” Alcoholics Anonymous, second edition, pages 341-342
We surrender to win. On the face of it surrendering certainly does not seem like winning. But it is in A.A. Only after we have come to the end of our rope, hit a stone wall in some aspect of our lives beyond which we can go no further; only when we hit “bottom” in despair and surrender, can we accomplish sobriety which we could never accomplish before. We must, and we do, surrender in order to win.
We give away to keep. That seems absurd and untrue. How can you keep anything if you give it away? But in order to keep whatever it is we get in A.A., we must go about giving it away to others, for no fees or rewards of any kind. When we cannot afford to give away what we have received so freely in A.A., we had better get ready for our next “drunk.” It will happen every time. We’ve got to continue to give it away in order to keep it.
We suffer to get well. There is not way to escape the terrible suffering of remorse and regret and shame and embarrassment which starts us on the road to getting well from our affliction. There is no new way to shake out a hangover. It’s painful. And for us, necessarily so. I told this to a friend of mine as weaving to and fro on the side of the bed, in terrible shape, about to die from some paraldehyde. I said, “Lost John – that’s his nickname – “Lost John, you know you’re going to have a certain amount of shaking sooner or later. Well,” he said “For God’s sake let’s make it later!” We suffer to get well.
We die to live. That is a beautiful paradox straight out of the Biblical idea of being “born again” or “in losing one’s life to find it.” When we work at our Twelve Steps, the old life of guzzling and fuzzy thinking, and all that goes with it, gradually dies, and we acquire a different and better way of life. As our shortcomings are removed, one life of us dies, and another life of us lives. We in A.A. die to live.
I am now in the LAND OF THE LIVING!!! Thank you for all your support.