There were many aspects of myself that needed changing when I got to the Rooms. Today, most all of those changes have happened and new ones keep revealing themselves. When I hear the stories of some of the most esteemed members of my AA community, I cannot begin to imagine them doing the horrific things they sometimes describe. Clearly these men and women have had a complete metamorphosis. When I sometimes look back on my most challenge-filled, intense and fast-paced days, I am amazed at the meltdowns I did not have, the remarks I did not make, and the fears that did not cloud my judgment or jangle my nerves. I sometimes cannot recognize myself. AA shapes and molds us without our even realizing it. Skepticism turns to hope, disdain turns to tolerance, fear turns to calm assurance, and closed minds slowly creak open, if only a fraction. I can no more be the sole agent of my own change than I can stay sober alone. I am definitely a participant in both endeavors, and I must do my part. But the heavy lifting happens through a Power Greater than Myself. This invisible, inaudible force acts upon me as I go about the mundane tasks of life. Its teachings creep beneath my consciousness and soon, I am a witness to my own evolution as it unfurls before me.
Oggy Aspen Leaves 2