CAME To BELIEVE

Wanting desperately to get out of the misery of my life, I just kept on coming back, again and again. I heard many stories and each one seemed to possess similarities to my story. My path to the tables while arduous and convoluted was nonetheless similar to those of others around the tables. All of these “shares” underscored my own experiences, and I came to “know” what it means to be an alcoholic. I accepted that fact of my life, and my journey to recovery began. Being restored to sanity was something that took a little while for me. To begin with I had to come to terms of being insane – that word described others, not me – or so I thought. Writing about my journey to the tables gave me the opportunity to come to an acceptance of the various terms used to identify a person as an alcoholic. It wasn’t what I drank, or how much I drank, or where I drank – it was what happened to me when I drank – my total lack of control after drinking that was what caused me to begin defining myself as an alcoholic. All I needed to do was continue to show up for the meetings – and the rest continues to pass at it’s own pace…one ALCOHOLIC helping another………
coin

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “CAME To BELIEVE

  1. There is only one equation which really matters to me now: God is in A.A

    Hi readers. It is so much better for me in my recovery to understand the above equation.

  2. The insanity for me was the obsession of mind that led to the first drink. Based on past experience, why did I think I could take that first drink? My father has an allergy to shrimp. He knows what will happen if he has that first shrimp. He doesn’t think one little shrimp won’t hurt. He won’t even touch food that he thinks might have been in contact with shrimp. Before AA I continuously tried to find a secret that would let me drink like others.

  3. Top of the morning family,
    Guess I’m on deck. bwah haha
    All I wanted was a break. All I wanted was a chance. Why me? Why can’t I be normal? Why do I keep hurting myself and the people that love me? Why am I sucking the life out of me and those that love me? Why won’t God help me? Doesn’t He know I’m there in His house on Sundays?
    The pain between my ears was unbearable. Alcoholics don’t shoot themselves in the foot. The pain isn’t there! I was exhausted with my life and life itself. I would be broken down like a shotgun in my driveway after work. So afraid to go inside my own home. In my vehicle were bottles of pain and misery. The forever knot in my belly knew that it wasn’t getting better. I would just park there and cry. I was in hole of isolation and insanity. A hole that I couldn’t get out.
    My folks conducted an intervention with some of my friends from a police dept. I attempted to exploit all my deceptions and trickery. My last scam involved telling my Mother that she didn’t understand.
    She replied, “do you understand yourself?”
    That exact moment, my heart knew that this gig was up!
    AA smacked me around for a long time. Slowly, self was giving up, ego was surrendering up: one day at a time. Today, I know that deep down inside each of us is a place made for one thing:
    ~ A relationship with Divine Mercy.
    No matter how I attempt to cover it up or fill it with earthly somethings, I will never be satisfied. Today, the voices are calmer. I don’t listen to brain cell 42 who yells the loudest.

    Divine Mercy does for me what I can’t do for myself. And today, I have a sweet life. All for His glory.

  4. Woke up twitchy and agitated.
    Prayed, dwealt on His reality, gave thanks.
    Asked His mercy, forgiveness and kindness.
    Felt compassion and relief.
    Sought direction for the day and turned over my temporal emotions.
    Things cleared and I join you guys, peaceful.
    Grateful for the Gift.

  5. My soul rests with you, my Anamchara.

    I don’t know how God does his mysterious work but I do know when I have some kind of discomfort or longing some things come to me quite unexpectedly and from what seemed to be strange places and stretching the bounds of synchronicity.
    So it seems to me my focus of thoughts and sensing and bend towards happiness here in the depths of winter time. My life experience has taught me that a new energy and invigoration comes on the early days of spring. Perhaps I should remember what my dear friend Old Abe is credited with; “Everyone is about as happy as they make up their minds to be”.
    But here lately I am coming to the final conclusion for me that I am about as happy as my faith is.
    My faith is my determinant.

    Life is too short by Unknown Author

    “Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change. Kiss slowly, play hard, forgive quickly, take chances, give everything and have no regrets. Life’s too short to be anything…..but happy”
    — Unknown Author

    I can’t, God can; I think I’ll let him.

    I’m Harry, grateful alcoholic and devoted 12th stepper. – Georgia, US of A

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s