Incomprehensible demoralization is a mouthful. But I have known anguish, crushing shame, and a yearning for death. I have seen walls moving toward me from every angle, trapping me in a collapsing world. I have heard my own blood pounding in my ears from panic and terror. There is no pain or sorrow in sobriety that is as dark, cutting and relentless as in the bottom of my drinking. Today I recognize my feelings and can evaluate them. My mind listens and responds. AA restores my sanity, and in doing so, creates a harness that draws me back up anytime my emotions travel too far down the ravine. Thanks to this Program, I no longer go lower than low.
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