Becoming Me

I have finally quit living in the dark shadows of illusions, and have started living in the light of truth. What an amazing realization that has been. I also believe that God has been the guiding force in my life – as long as I continue to live in honesty, He is there for me. It’s an immediate feeling of “wrong” when I lie. I am learning to trust my feelings, I am learning to trust my instincts, and I am learning that I am not as horrible as I feared. There are no perfect people, there are no perfect lives, and there are no perfect feelings. I can live with my flaws, I can live with my imperfections – it just means that I am another imperfect human being – like everyone else on Earth. Reality is better than illusion. The Program teaches me much, and will continue to do so, it all depends on my willingness to accept myself as another imperfect human being. Dear Father – help me to accept my imperfections and to come to an understanding that I am simply a mere mortal. One that can come to accept the changes I need to make. Changes that give me the ability to grow and to become closer to You, for this I pray.


9 thoughts on “Becoming Me

  1. We are all mortal sadly enough. And maybe God is one of us. But we must approach our defects and our mistakes (in our case relapses) with utter honesty. Admit our temporary defeat and build from our mistakes. After all is said and done we must be comfortable within our our skin.
    Our time is limited. Our headaches not permanent. Our misery not set in stone. Yet, we make our own dross. We inflict our own misery upon anyone who will listen.
    Now as always is the stay clean, lovingly sober and positive,
    Honest. Pure. At peace.
    Then only will the delights of life be real.

    My thoughts on relapsing a thing of which I know about many years ago.
    ______________________________________smiles from the desert

  2. “I am only human, and I regret it” – Mark Twain
    “We are not a glum lot”. – Big Book.
    I am only human, dammit – Harry S 🙂
    I can remember when I tried to play God and I did a miserable job of it. 😦
    I’m Harry, grateful 12th stepper.

  3. hmm, quite obvious i am only human as i thought I had shared yesterday but it’s lost in cyberspace. I had congratulated Clay on 5 years and thanked Tree for coming back.

  4. When I first started on this journey, during meditation I heard the following: be calm; be humble; be willing; become. I cannot say with certainty who said it (I have my opinion), but I can say who heard it. Me. I am on a spiritual journey. Every day is different. That is the miracle of the program to me. My daily routine causes new changes. People can and do relapse in the program. They usually reach the point where they say that this time is different and they find themselves freed of the mental obsession. Sometimes they don’t.
    Any studies of AA are difficult. Most studies are akin to judging the effectiveness of exercise by looking at who joins health club memberships. Most go to the health club once. A few take advantage of everything the health club has to offer.
    The most reliable surveys ( as a scientist I don’t call them scientific studies) suggest half the people who get sober do it in AA and half do it outside of AA. The success rates are low, but no one has come up with a clearly better way. If someone did they would make a fortune so I don’t believe in this vast conspiracy to continue with AA instead of more effective treatments. For the record, I also don’t believe that oil companies are preventing us from running cars on water.
    But these are outside issues. All I can do is show a fellow alcoholic what I did. This is the path I followed and My fervent prayer is that it works for you.

  5. Just want to thank you for all your words of encouragement. it meant a lot to me.. I want to let you know I am feeling much better and G*d is bestowing serenity slowly on this wretched soul. Namaste Tree

  6. Top of the new morning family,
    Step 4 shows me who I’m not. Steps 7,8, are spiritual adjustments. Steps 10,11,12 shows/guides me on how to grow up. When my relationship is right with Divine Mercy, all aspects of my life are in harmony of His will. Today, self worth/self-esteem is rooted in and through my Creator. Who I am and what I achieve are directly proportional by how and what I think?!?! Today, I’m on the course/journey that has been laid out for me, and Divine Mercy is waiting for me. If I want peace; serve others. If I want freedom; face my fears. If I want a sense of belonging; I must grant others a sense of belongings. It’s a simple design for a successful life. Align my thinking to the One who created me.

    Today is a good day to have a fresh smile and laugh.

  7. What a lovely message.
    One of the ego illusions I try to hang on to is that somehow there is absolute permanence somehow in this world. As a result I can be amazingly uncomfortable with uncertainty and ambiguity. Drinking alcohol was a great way to escape from this.
    Of course, this led over time to its own set of problems…
    Today I am learning from you that in this maelstrom of chaos a compassionate heart, deep honesty, a willingness to face fear and love for my fellows brings peace.
    Who’d have dreamed such a thing- surely not me when I came through the doors, nor me for quite a wee while in the rooms. But eventually..
    Grateful for the Gift

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