What The Flack

As I have grown in the Program, so has my ability to define my likes and dislikes. I may have found that those traits I came into the Program with, are now changed. This will impact those I am close to, and they may not be as accepting as I think they should be. I can only account for my own behaviors, not the behaviors of others – they too, will have to find their own way. Flack (or flak) is described in the dictionary as having feelings of “opposition or criticism.” I have heard that in some alcoholic/non-alcoholic relationships, that quite often the non-alcoholic resents the changes required of recovery, and then it is up to the alcoholic wishing sobriety to assert their intentions to remain true to the Program, in spite of spousal negation. Most often it is a matter of time – time to resolve issues as they arise, time to allow for the changes taking place, and time for adjustments to be made by both parties. Relationships can be very complex and dynamic, as most of us know. Giving the alcoholic flack for the changes occurring, is like holding others responsible for your behavior – it no longer works and should be disregarded. We are each responsible for our own recovery, and that recovery can entail all those “around” us – family, friends and fellows in recovery. Whomever it touches, my recovery is my responsibility, my desire and my deepest hope.
30 days today Friends and going strong!!! 💗
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11 thoughts on “What The Flack

  1. 30 days is a miracle. Every sober day is a miracle. I am responsible for my own recovery. I am also responsible for the pain I caused. I have to be patient with the recovery of the people who have been damaged by my drinking, They don’t have the tools of the program like I do.

  2. “Now don’t give me no flak”.

    Do you remember how when we were kids we somehow picked up on some kind of “saying” and used it repeatedly in our juvenile conversations.
    I remember this one and I appreciate it being dark back out of the recesses of my mind by this reflection.
    As kids, I know we didn’t know anything about the trueness in this interjection that it was a counterstatement to opposition and criticism so I am especially glad for this more complete understanding of what was going around in those days.

    I’ve often wondered what in the world happened that made me an alcoholic and I know today that it was many things but mostly my discovery that it would ease my pain, my fears and insecurities.
    But going deeper into understanding; where did these come from?

    For one thing and since it seems to frequently come to mind it must be off some importance in my life is the experience of bringing home the report card.
    Sometime in primary school this process was instituted and when I showed it to my mother she always retorted, “Well, you could have done better than this!” It didn’t matter whether it was an exceptional report card or not the reply was always the same and this 6, 7 or 8 year old internalized is as “never being good enough”.
    So how could a person escaped constant fear and insecurity?

    As my friend George often says, “I love me and God loves me so that’s at least two against however many others”.

    I believe that!

    I’m Harry, grateful alcoholic and devoted 12th stepper.

  3. Asking for some prayers for my ma today. I ve been at the hospital for a couple days now and seems they’ve finally found a blockage whcih they cant reach from below after a couple cat scans and several enemas, sheesh. I wouldn’t wanna be the doctor and cant wrap my head around this surgery so i will be by her side for a few more days. Thanking God I’m here to help, pray and console!

    • Thoughts and prayers for you and your mother. I have to remember to pause and pray and then proceed in hospitals when my family is involved. What a gift we have that we can now be fully present for our loved ones. In the past, I would be half lit or dry and thinking about how I could sneak out for a quick one or three.

    • It has been a privilege to read over the years how great is your commitment to your mom, and I know how consoled she must be by your presence. God bless you both

  4. Dan
    What a fine man she has for a son!
    By her side, looking after her, easing her pain and her mind.
    A blessing, not a burden.
    Prayers requested and prayers being delivered, with joy and pleasure.
    Grateful for the gift.

  5. Top of the golden Good Friday family,
    Dan your actions demonstrate unselfish love; living for others. A message of hope, that when my time comes with my folks I’ll be available for them. All the while, I don’t have to drink over it. Peace be with you Dan.

    A kind “hugs” Sister once mentioned:
    Trust God for what I need
    Thank God for what I have.
    A straight/stalwart spiritual mission statement.

    Its His love that saved me today.
    Through His suffering, I’m rescued.
    I’m free as much as I will.

    It’s a good day to re-discover ourselves and our freedom.

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