Acceptance is the answer. First I had to accept the fact of my disease. It was always easier to point my finger at others, who, I thought, had what I called a “problem.” They drank more than me, or drank more often than me, or drank stronger booze than I did – there was always some measurement whereby I came up less of a drinker than others. My constant comparison reinforced my denial, as I could always find someone who drank “worse” than I did. Alcohol is alcohol – regardless of what form I drank it in. It took my participation in A.A. for me to finally come to an acceptance of the fact of my disease, alcoholism. Once I began to drink, alcohol took over and my ability to stop drinking went right out the window. So my first step towards defining myself as an alcoholic came through acceptance. Acceptance of the fact that drinking caused problems in my life. Acceptance of the fact that I lacked the ability to stop, once started. Acceptance of the fact that I was not a “normal” drinker. Normal drinkers do not question their drinking, that may have been my first clue. 😍


6 thoughts on “Acceptance

  1. Great post and interesting how my family carried on the alcoholism and reinforced heavy drinking as “normal” and just a part of everyday life. When I was 12 or 13, I remember my grandmother showing up for a family dinner completely bombed; she ended up passing out at the dinner table and falling on the floor. But I’ll give her credit because she stayed sober for 9 years before taking another drink–she died fairly soon after that. My parents continued to drink heavily and high-functioning alcoholics. But they both died at fairly young ages. I think my extreme reluctance to finally get sober probably was due to my upbringing and hard to reject something that I figured was normal. But no need to overthink it–just have to remember that I can’t drink like a normal person!

  2. In Deuteronomy 32:11 we read that God is “like an eagle that stirs up its nest . .”  
    My old friend Charlie Robinson who was our rector at St. Andrew’s Church for 25 years before he suffered an incapacitating stroke which left him hemiplegic and functionally aphasic used to drop by my house at the most unexpected times.
    It seems to me to be recollected that it was somehow connected to one of my benders.

    On one of these occasions he seemed to be unusually pumped up and wanted to share with me in print a story of a Confederate soldier who was injured and had to have an amputation. The story told of the scene of the surgery, the use of liquor which most of the time was the only anesthetic available and the accomplishment of the gruesome amputation.
    It concluded with the statement, “”Grace Abounds””.

    I thought this was about the weirdest and incomprehensible idea of grace I ever heard of at this time but you see I look at it differently with my retrospect scope which is often times my only true view of the truth.

    Lots of times Grace is not a beautiful thing to look at when it is happening but on the long view, the end result, it becomes obvious.

    We speak often of the Gift of Desperation which comes to many alcoholics and forces or drives us towards recovery.

    It’s not pretty!

    Is it grace?

    Is it odd or is it God?

  3. wow, much to ponder on about grace. I went to bible study yesterday and got a kick out of one fella who went down a rabbit hole who’s often uptight about others going down rabbit holes. We all had a laugh as the pastor called him out because he’s often calling him out for the very same thing..
    We got another major snow storm last night which will just make spring all the sweeter as we’re all very tired of cold and snow here in Mi. Time to go shoveling folks and maybe a snow man later on, which i will chop off his head. God bless my brothers and sisters!

  4. Acceptance is the answer. When I am disturbed it is usually because I find some fact about myself unacceptable. if I can learn to accept myself, I can find serenity in persons, places, things, and situations that are different than I think they should be.

  5. For me, it is always interesting to be still enough to divine just who it is talking in my head, and on occasion, perhaps lurking in my heart. Is it my True Self or is it my old buddy, Mr. Ego?
    They just ain’t the same, yet they dwell in the same apparent neighbourhood.
    You have taught me…when in doubt, slow down, slower, slower.
    Now, come to a full and complete stop.
    Breathe, deeply, again.
    Come into the present.
    Let the thoughts go, without judgement.
    Feel my breath.
    Breathe, again.
    Think of God.
    Think of His Perfect Love.
    Ask for His help,now.
    Maybe, just maybe, I can then see Reality.
    Maybe, I can ask what would be kind.
    Maybe, I can be an instrument of His Will.
    Used to be I’d just have another drink…

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