Acceptance is the answer. First I had to accept the fact of my disease. It was always easier to point my finger at others, who, I thought, had what I called a “problem.” They drank more than me, or drank more often than me, or drank stronger booze than I did – there was always some measurement whereby I came up less of a drinker than others. My constant comparison reinforced my denial, as I could always find someone who drank “worse” than I did. Alcohol is alcohol – regardless of what form I drank it in. It took my participation in A.A. for me to finally come to an acceptance of the fact of my disease, alcoholism. Once I began to drink, alcohol took over and my ability to stop drinking went right out the window. So my first step towards defining myself as an alcoholic came through acceptance. Acceptance of the fact that drinking caused problems in my life. Acceptance of the fact that I lacked the ability to stop, once started. Acceptance of the fact that I was not a “normal” drinker. Normal drinkers do not question their drinking, that may have been my first clue. 😍
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