The “key” to unlock the door to recovery is willingness. I had to get willing to be honest. I had to get willing to be open-minded about that which I had denied in the past. And I had to get willing to be willing – sometimes that was the only thing I prayed for, willingness. For without willingness I could not remove the veil that covered my eyes to the reality of my life, and the reality of my disease. I was ready for change, ready to quit hurting myself and others, and ready to try new ways of living my life, when I reached the tables of Alcoholics Anonymous. Little did I know that my past behaviors could be the guides to new behavior, not only myself, but for others, as well. How I handled problems in recovery lay in the mystery of my past – I needed to behave in the opposite way I had before getting sober. Whereas I denied my disease, I now was grateful for a definition of “what ails me.” Instead of blaming others, I learned to hold myself responsible for me. In place of immorality I now searched for spiritual principles as guides to my behaviors. For every negative there is a positive – my job in recovery was to work on enhancing the positive and getting rid of the negative. I put myself in a state of willingness, and placed my life in God’s good hands. The rest is history ❤
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