Sometimes craving does not happen. It did not happen to me until all the emotions I was avoiding had to go somewhere. For me it took time, especially after my ten years. Once I had to deal with life on life’s terms in a healthy way(without even one drink) I couldn’t do it. Realizing that, I knew I couldn’t continue. I guess what was different, for me, in Soto’s sentence, from the other day(Once a person has crossed the invisible line into the realms of chronic alcoholism, then they can never again take a drink and guarantee their behavior. This is not to be fooled around with, so many are lost to the wayside by trying to be normal) was that once you’ve experienced that sneaking, lying, 24/7 drinking, hiding behavior of an alcoholic, you can simply not have another drink and know how it will effect you:
Will you stop after one?
don’t know
Will you have a couple and stop?
don’t know
Will you immediately delve into the depths of end stage alcoholism?
Don’t know
That’s the whole point of reconciling myself and my relationship with alcohol! Knowing that if I ever take a drink again, I have no f***ing clue what will happen next!
And that’s why I love the 12 steps! The spiritual ride I’m on is amazing! It keeps getting bigger and better. It won’t happen if I’m in the depths, riding with the four horsemen!
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