Face It

Willingness is defined as being “ready, inclined, or having the power of choice ,” which can all be described as voluntary actions. I wanted whatever it was that I saw in others around the tables. I became willing to do what was suggested by others, and the Program. I walked through some of my fears the first day my feet crossed the threshold of the A.A. Fellowship. I was fearful that it would not work for me, I was fearful that I would fail in some way and be cast out into the streets, once again. My biggest fear was that I would not be able to find my Higher Power. I did not fully comprehend this spiritual “being” but I was desperate for the “faith” that was working in the lives of many. Another fear I had was that I did not fit the mold of being an alcoholic, but in listening to others around the tables, I soon learned that my definition of an alcoholic, was way off base. It wasn’t what I drank, or how much I drank – but what alcohol did to me when I drank. Once started, it was impossible to stop. Working the Steps became my immediate goal, along with attending meetings – lots and lots of meetings. The meetings really serve two purposes; they enable me to learn about the disease of alcoholism, and at the same time gave me the opportunity to meet others who were searching for the same answers as I was. I felt safe within those four walls. I felt safe in being honest, fully honest, for the first time in my life. I felt secure knowing and accepting a Power greater than me, and greater than my disease. For the first time EVER, I faced the disease!!
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11 thoughts on “Face It

  1. My soul rests with you, my Anamchara.

    I think by now you all know I love Alcoholics Anonymous for many reasons but one of the most important ones may be, “Ours is a program of attraction, not promotion”.

    So don’t miss one of God’s greatest miracles: He can take a broken group of people and use them to fill the earth with His glory. This has always been the plan of God and maybe one of His greatest wonders to show to the world.–Dave Whitehead

    I love the quote attributed to St. Francis, “Preach the gospel at all times, when necessary use words”. – Nancy Shirley.

    “I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any time” — Jane Barker.

    I’m Harry, grateful alcoholic and devoted 12th stepper.

  2. when i had to face the music, so to speak. the only relief i found was in the fellowship. this past week marks 6 years of sobriety for my good friend Tuk and myself. we both showed-up at what has become our friday night home group. both of us drank for decades, had severe medical conditions when we arrived and both now enjoy being sober. if AA is a family then we are twins.

    love the programme, love the fellowship, keep trudging my friends.

  3. I read recently that ” Ego makes a good servant, but a poor master”.
    Really resonated with me.
    No need to hate or subjugate or expel my ego, as if that is something even doable.
    Instead, simply accept its presence, acknowledge its role but no need to be ruled by it.
    But just what is it inside me that can observe my ego? Or, as in the reflection above, ” become willing”?
    Certainly not my ego.
    Rather, I believe it is The True Self, or in some traditions, the Soul or the Divine Within.
    So as I became “willing to be willing” I took the first action, out of powerlessness, in trusting Something other than egoic will fullness.
    Out of desperation came salvation.
    Grateful for the Gift

  4. “Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.”

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