Turn It Over

Sometimes I lose my “place” in the world, and try to effect changes that are not mine to do. My ego still gets in the way of humility at times, and I struggle to remember that I am but a mere child of God, no more and no less. Whenever I “Let go and Let God” my stress level drops, and my path becomes clearer. I gain a perspective about my place in the world, and I know that the very best I can do is to take care of me that I might then be there for others, when they are ready to Step up and Step out in the world of recovery and sobriety.
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4 thoughts on “Turn It Over

  1. My soul rests with you, my Anamchara.

    We love our little cabin on Lake Sinclair which we have enjoyed and been part of creating countless moments of joy and have experienced it as being the launching pad of sobriety.

    In 1987 I went through 13 days of a foretaste of hell as I turned to the only thing my experience was telling me would bring relief from misery and basically stayed as drunk as I could get.
    During that time the development of a fantasy “yard woman” was synthesized in an inebriated brain rift with imagination and exaggeration. A set of base requirements for this person including her appearance, her demeanor, and her extraordinary willingness for employment including being willing to sleep outdoors in accommodations not yet devised with the exception that if the temperature was below freezing she could come inside and sleep on the floor.
    (Lord help us).

    On the morning of the 13th day I woke up or came to with a very clear understanding of this painful situation with the crystal-clear thought which I believe came from an extraordinary source; “This just doesn’t seem to be working out”.

    3 days later I attended my 1st meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.

    Yesterday once again I rediscovered this yard woman as we got together and did a massive pruning of azaleas and generally did some sweating and becoming more deeply in love.
    You see all the time I was married to this lady and have been now for 39 years and counting.

    They tell us not to dwell in our past but here we are enjoying a few belly laughs about it with this charming lady.

    Could be a pretty good remedy!

    I’m Harry, grateful alcoholic and devoted 12th stepper.

    • What God intends to redeem, He will redeem. Ten years ago, I had written off my marriage as cold, lifeless, dead., but He had other plans. Of all the many blessings of recovery, a resurrected marriage is the greatest! I travel for a living, gone from Monday through Thursday. When I was drinking, I relished the leaving, anxious for a respite from what I thought was my source of most of my woes. Now, I walk out the door Monday well before daylight, looking forward to returning again to her.

      As it turns out, she was the glue that held us and our family together, teaching me what real forgiveness, real love, real kindness, real commitment looked like. We’re in year 30 of our marriage, our fourth and final child going off to college in two months. I have a feeling that I’m looking forward to the empty nest more than my adorable wife. Roll Tide!

  2. Last night after the meeting I was talking to another fella who asked me if I remember my first drunk. I said, ” No, but I do remember my first hangover and it was with Md 20-20″ . Then we proceeded to have a chat about about our stupid human tricks while another joined in and all of us had a story of passing out at the wheel in precarious places such as the McDonald’s drive thru and stop lights, yadda yadda. I can remember those very sick hangovers very well yet today and doubt I’ll ever forget.
    I’m very grateful to read all your stories people, every time I find my way back here and sorry I’m not more mindful of this place which has helped me so very much. I still feel a connection to many of you and will never forget most of you.
    I sometimes slip away but from AA but the people and my connection to service helps me find my way back. God bless my brotha’s and sista’s!

  3. Grateful for this wee site, and its ODR predecessor, which have been a constant presence in my daily routine for more than a few years now.
    Grateful for Bonnie and her steadfast service.
    By connecting, first thing, before first light, with my fellows I can begin to come out of self absorption and into gratitude about my good fortune, taking my natural place in the scheme of things and praying as to how I might be of use today.
    Used to be I’d just wake up hungover and dreading hearing what a mess I’d made of things.
    Grateful for the Gift

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