Today, I work towards behaviors that reflect the spiritual principles of the Program. I care about the affect my behavior and words have on others. I care about the feelings of others, be they family or friend. I care about how I serve as an example of sobriety to others, even after relapse. Repairing the destruction of my drinking is a lifelong endeavor, one that I will continue to work on, day by day. When I attempted to “work” Step Nine, and make my amends to others, I found so many more lives I had touched with my drinking than I ever thought before. It uncovered many character defects, not to mention my shortcomings. It was a strong message about the extent of my disease on those around me. There were many more names on my list of people I owed amends to than I ever thought. It was an awakening for me, and an awakening of the part I have played in my life. I pray that I will continue to “live” my amends to all those I love and care for, in both deed and word. I pray that understanding of the hurt I caused will grow, and with it will come new knowledge of how to truly love others, and how to make healing amends for my misguided behavior.
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