Am I Willing?

I have a friend in the Program who says that his recovery is a gift from God, and what he does with that recovery is his gift to God. I always like hearing that, first it reminds me that recovery is a gift, secondly, it tells me that with recovery comes responsibility. If I am to be sober I need to do the “work” that is described in the Twelve Steps. I need to learn to live in the present, and I need to find the God of my understanding, and I need to abstain from alcohol, in all it’s forms. Life in sobriety is not always great, there are times of trouble, challenges and temptations; but if I persevere I will remain sober and mostly sane. I have learned that my past is not a predictor of my future. Just because my life has been a little left of insane, does not mean that it has to remain so. Change is always possible when I am open to it.


3 thoughts on “Am I Willing?

  1. Thank the Lord for this day and for all that is in it.
    My times are in His hand.
    My soul rests with Him, my Anamchara.

    Yet you, LORD, are our Father
    We are the clay, you are the potter;
    we are all the work of your hand. — Isaiah 64:8

    Just a few gleanings from various readings including a few musings:

    June 23
    “I am still amazed at the aura around AA meetings … No matter what our immediate problems, fears, or resentments, we come to a halt when the meeting begins and focus on our primary purpose.”
    Pittsburgh, Pa., September 1991
    “A Beacon in the Dark”
    The Home Group: Heartbeat of AA

    So what is this amazing aura?
    Is it grace?

    “…the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faith, humility, self-control.”
    These things are goodness and love expressed in word and deed, the living water of the Spirit of Love active within us, flowing forth from us.

    Am I surprised that this?
    Well I shouldn’t be!
    As I’ve been told, I believe that God comes to every AA meeting.

    I’m Harry, grateful alcoholic and devoted 12th stepper.

  2. Subtle, nuanced stuff…
    I certainly didn’t come to AA to find God, a spiritual life or a new way of living.
    I came to AA because I was confused and unable to stop drinking.
    My life was a big mess, something I dimly thought might be about getting drunk and doing stuff that was stupid, especially looked at the next morning through the eyes of my wife. I was oblivious to the fear and shame I lived in.
    When I came in I ignored all discussion of God, finding a spiritual solution, getting a sponsor or taking any of those steps.
    I couldn’t have found my heart with a stethoscope and I was structurally unaware of “you” except as to how you might affect “me”.
    Yet you made me feel welcome.
    Eventually, I noticed some of you jokers were actually happy and pretty calm, all the time.
    After two years, one of you asked me “when are you gonna start to take this thing seriously?”
    That was the nudge I needed; I was finally ready.
    Life has never been the same.
    Grateful for the Gift

  3. Top of the morning family,
    It’s crucial that my battle rhythm in spirit is grounded through Divine Mercy and not depended on my daily circumstances. Desires of self, produce(s) my cloud of impending doom. Time and time again, it’s because I’m carrying a heavy load that’s not meant for me. His design for humanity is to handle all of my problems, wants, and desires.

    Its rock solid, the greatest obstacle we face is the person in the mirror. Every day, we must choose His will or self’s will. Its rock solid, people have mucho opinions about what we ought to do; how God wants us to live. Its rock solid, when I marched forward in the destruction of self, my hunger for His will grows…
    It’s so easy to pessimistic and negative; it takes work/guts and faith to be optimistic and positive.
    Am I pleasing others will?
    At what time, do I desire His will?

    It’s a good day to recognize this day as a gift.

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