I was a rebel from my very early days. It seems, in looking back, that I was always fighting the “accepted” forms of behavior, and rebelling against what others determined as “the norm.” If I was expected to behave in one way, I made sure that I behaved in the opposite of that way. Coming to the rooms of A.A. was, at first, my last hope. I desperately wanted A.A. to work in my life, but being the headstrong rebel I was, I felt quite sure that it would be flawed, just as most of my attempts at “normal” living had been. I failed at much, early in life. I failed as a daughter, I failed as a sister, I failed as a friend, and I just seemed to fail at whatever I attempted – especially when it came to relationships of all sorts. I never “fit in” anywhere, any time. As Zuzu once said ” The way to unwind the bondage is to reach out to my fellow alcoholics, to ask my sponsor for guidance. While I feel the great pull of the gravity of my own self-absorption, I must continually reach instead toward the Steps and sobriety if I am to remain free.” I think that is an amazing suggestion…..don’t you?
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