Awareness of just who I am, and what that entails is an ongoing process, one that continues to this very day. Age is just a number. Today I believe that I will never stop learning about me; who I am, what I am and where I am. Today my mind is clear enough to grasp the idea of a Power greater than my disease. Today, I know that spiritual acceptance was what I need to “fill the hole.” I never knew that the joy of giving would bring me so much happiness and serenity and would be the one thing that fills that terrible emptiness that no longer drives me nuts. Today I can honestly say that I have stopped looking for an external fix for an internal problem. Thanks to the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous.


4 thoughts on “Internal

  1. Ever wonder for a brief moment what it would be like to be all alone all the time in this world?

    The Book of Proverbs says, “Iron sharpens iron, and so one person sharpens another.” Without the kind of transparency and sharpening that comes from intentional life together, we are very prone to be duped, to be foolish, which is the antithesis of wisdom.- – Br. Curtis Almquist.

    The chrysalis had been living one day at a time in the cocoon for several weeks and developing into a kind of formless mass whose seemingly only destiny was to die but something quite amazing happened! Perhaps just as it thought its final destiny was imminent powerful forces appeared from apparently nowhere and the extrusion process caused a rather limp and vulnerable fledgling butterfly to appear and after another brief period to allow its wing structure to harden off it fluttered on its butterfly admission part of which is to bring beauty, enthrallment and mystery into our lives.

    “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.” — English Proverb

    I happen to appreciate being sharpened by the sharing of others some understanding of this wonderful natural phenomenon.

    We in our recovery fellowship practice this principle in the everyday dynamics with special emphasis on mentoring or sponsorship.
    Dr. Smith the head honcho in the Pine Grove treatment program tried to explain to us and have us venture into the process of healing each other.
    This happens in the meetings before the meetings, the meetings after the meetings and the friendly interchanges.
    Perhaps the greatest degree of healing occurs in the sponsorship tradition.

    My sponsor Kent F always said that we helped him more than he helped us!

    I’m Harry, grateful alcoholic and devoted 12th stepper.

  2. Well, both Bonnie and Harry put their finger right on the hot wire, the one carrying all the power.
    And what a jolt it delivers.
    It is this simple- I receive a gift in sobriety I keep only by giving away, freely.
    Just as in my broader life, the only way I keep the love for which I yearn, is to continually share it, outpouring, without expectation of return, selflessly.
    Whether by silent prayer, or patient listening, or heartfelt compassion or more active involvement the principle is exactly the same…the more I concern myself with truly helping another the less I am thinking of me and the more I am conforming to His will. Then, in concious presence, in grateful contemplation, I feel His pleasure.
    Grateful for the Gift.

  3. Top of the 4th of July weekend morning family,
    – Is reality an option for me today?
    – What am I really afraid of?
    – Is God enough for me?
    Circumstances haven’t changed in my life; it’s how I react to them that have changed. My what ifs / if only’s will always be around. These are self survival platforms that avoid life changes. My best defense is placing my trust/hope in a power that again raised the sun in the east this am.. My spiritual battle rhythm only materializes when I’m convinced of my need for Divine Mercy. Today, peace is found when I relax and allow His universe to come to me.

    It’s a good day to stop looking back.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s