Day 9-Beginning My 4th Step

Removing my shortcomings is a process, not an event. It has taken me a while to determine just what is meant by shortcomings and defects of character. Now that I have determined what my defects are, I work on a daily basis to delete them from my life. Sometimes, I just do the very opposite of what I think is my response – especially when it comes to the Spiritual Principles. For every negative there is a positive, and vice versa. I have to laugh when I look back at a time in my life when I had just finished doing my first Steps 4 and 5, and when my sponsor asked me for a list of my shortcomings, my reply was “I don’t have any.” that brought a strong and hearty laugh from her. I was told to look again, and to consider my behavior in the past, not necessarily my current behavior. Was I rude, inconsiderate; did I lie and tell mistruths; did I physically or mentally injure others; did my blackouts cause others undue discomfort and/or pain? How ironic that because I didn’t do a THOROUGH 4th step, that’s just where I am today, all these years later. Using the Spiritual Principles as a tool of recovery gives me a “plan” for the right behaviors. Humility is an abstract term that tells me that I am no better or no worse than anyone else. What “gifts” I do claim are those that were given to me by the God of my understanding. He gave me patience and perseverance. He gave me a brain that likes to solve problems. He gave me understanding, and tenacity that I may have the ability to write. He has gifted me – many times. I am blessed today, one day at a time!!!
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6 thoughts on “Day 9-Beginning My 4th Step

  1. 13
    July
    HUMILITY IS A GIFT
    As long as we placed self-reliance first, a genuine reliance upon a Higher Power was out of the question. That basic ingredient of all humility, a desire to seek and do God’s will, was missing.
    — TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 72

    When they told me that God lives in two places, his kingdom and a full and thankful heart I couldn’t resist the temptation.
    I followed their suggestions and began making a gratitude list.
    It grew into a full and thankful heart.
    Is God here?
    Yes!
    Yes!
    Yes!

    I’m Harry, grateful alcoholic and devoted 12th stepper.

    • PS
      My soul rests with you, my Anamchara.

      “First Thoughts”.

      I love it when I have what I call first thoughts when I wake in the morning. I don’t always have them in a special way but in some way I always have first thoughts. Sometimes they don’t mean that very much except quickly outlining a rudimentary plan for the day but some days they are very special. Some days they are extremely precious.
      This morning I woke up with a thought; they are singing to me followed by a questioning thought; what are they singing?
      The next thought; “I come to the garden alone………”
      The next action; search YouTube for the Hymn.
      The result; Pure Pleasure!

      Does God of my understanding speak to me?

      God spoke to me yesterday morning in traffic court as I saw the extraordinary courtesy demonstrated by all towards all.

      Wherever courtesy is, God is!

      How did I come out in traffic court yesterday?

      I’ve never left a court of law feeling any better than I did yesterday morning.

      I’m Harry, grateful alcoholic and devoted 12th stepper.

  2. I have heard it countless times…probably because I am meant to, because it is only now penetrating.
    Humility is not thinking less of oneself, it is thinking of oneself less.
    And, the corollary, since I can’t think of two things at once.
    Nothing ensures sobriety like working with another alcoholic.
    This was Bill’s experience with Ebby, Dr. Bob and the first several alcoholics he and Lois tried to help get sober. He didn’t get there with them, but as Lois reminded him, he stayed sober. This was the lesson, hammered out through trial and error, of the first groups as well.p, as well scribed by Jim B. on page 227 of the BB.
    For it is in the giving that we receive.
    Grateful for the Gift.

  3. I like the share about the 4th step, I was at my home group meeting and we discussed step 10, several members of aa shared about resentments and fears. I was able to share about a recent situation as to my older sister and how we were supposed to be able to meet, as we have not seen each other for many a year. She indicated we would meet and then that day she cancelled. So I knew I resented this so we have the suggested tools in the bb so I called sponsor and she reminded me of step 10 and referenced the reading in the bb. So I have looked closely at my behavior, and continue to turn it over and ask my hp to remove my resentments and difficulties. So I continue to get a daily reprieve from alcohol, and other selfish behaviors. Thanks again this 24 for your support to this alcoholic. Kt

  4. Top of the 4th Friday of the week family,
    RE: Sometimes, I just do the very opposite of what I think is my response – especially when it comes to the Spiritual Principles.

    That battle rhythm knocked me on the head, (AhhHaa) in earlier recovery while watching a Seinfeld, episode, “The Opposite”. “that every decision I’ve ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every of life, be it something to wear, something to eat… It’s all been wrong. I’m completely ignoring every urge towards common sense and good judgment I’ve ever had.“

    I’m convinced at that moment, a psychic change?/amazing grace? occurred in my soul. I stood up from the couch and said, Yes! That’s it! I get this/I have a chance.

    Its a good day to have a good day.

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