Me, Myself, And Thee

I have accepted the fact that it is my job to take care of me, whatever than means. It is my job to ferret out the negatives and to embrace the positive actions that A.A. offers. I deserve better than I had ever gotten – I always expected the worst, and that’s just what I got. I have learned to value myself, and that I cannot be of service to others if I am not in service to myself, first. It confused me for a time – I heard others around the tables say that this is a self-less program, but at the same time others were telling me that my whole life had been one of selfish acts. The basis for the Program was learning to sincerely care for others through the spiritual principles, I needed to learn to give to others without expectation of anything in return. Selfish acts have become self-less acts, and self-love now promotes love of others through service. By caring for others I have learned to care for me. 💗

Photo courtesy of Maggs!!
Photo courtesy of Maggs!!

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Me, Myself, And Thee

  1. August 17
    RIGHTING THE HARM
    In many instances we shall find that though the harm done others has not been great, the emotional harm we have done ourselves has.
    — TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 79

    When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
    For day and night your hand was heavy on me;
    my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Selah

    Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.
    I said, “I will confess my transgressions to God.”
    And you forgave the guilt of my sin. – Psalm 32:3-5

    He said with his sponsor and described a conflict with his closest friend. Not the details of the conflict, which didn’t seem to interest him. He described the pain that he carried. And how it grew.

    He and his friend were close. Their relationship was playful, emotionally rich, full of care. He had been something that hurt. It wasn’t much: a careless word, a moment of neglect. A slight so slight he let it slide. But it rankled. The silence was a kind of fertilizer for the hurt; better than the richest compost. It grew.

    A resentment is like sin, I suppose. A momentary lapse that grows until it affects the whole relationship.”

    (How apt, His sponsor thought, that the psalmist added “Selah” right here, a word that probably means “pause,” as though to intensify the image of wasting away, groaning, heaviness as of summer heat.)

    “What happened next?” He asked.

    “I summoned all my resolve,” he said, “and one day when we walked through the park I told her, ‘I feel the hurt and the hurt’s making me angry.'”

    “She just took it in,” he said. “She said, ‘What I said was careless and hurtful. I’m sorry.'”

    He paused. “I’ve can’t recall ever feeling such lightness before.”

    It doesn’t always work that well. But healing can happen. You can be light again — the psalm says even God can be.

    Prayer

    Restoring God, grant me the fortitude to own up when I’ve caused hurt, the courage to tell when I’m hurting, the grace to give and receive forgiveness. May each part bring me closer to you. Amen.
    Paraphrased from http://www.ucc.org/daily_devotional_lightness_of_being

  2. Good reading, but I’ve also learned that sometimes I have to say “no” and stop being a people pleaser. This even means sometimes turning down AA commitments if I have a conflict. I had an issue with this recently and received a bit of a guilt trip from a fellow trudger. But at least I went straight to a meeting that day and will try to help in the future.

  3. Top of the cool Colorado morning family,
    What is my desire for this day?
    Am I’m fooling others / self?
    Yes, yepper, roger that and 10-4, we’re human, we make stupid mistakes.
    Our go to rhythm must be pursuing and seeking out the One who created us for forgiveness and salvation. Sometimes its difficult to ask Divine Mercy for what Clay really wants. Self doesn’t like asking for I don’t want to be disappointed if it doesn’t come through. Moreover, I stumble sometimes because I’m not sure what I desire. I must fix my sights on His desires for me and then ask God to make those desires mine!
    The best is yet to come. That is power beyond my membrane.

    It’s a good day to see His presence in our life today.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s