I had a strong sense of denial about my alcoholism, and was very sure that I had the right to live as I chose to, regardless of the consequences. I never thought of myself as being an alcoholic. I had a preconceived notion of what being an alcoholic looked like, and I worked hard at being just as opposite as I could be from that “idea.” I had a job, a home and a car – and I dressed the part I played, which fooled both me and everyone else I met. Seeing my image in the mirror the morning after was a sure wake-up call, but it happened so randomly that it was easy to tell myself that it was not the behavior of someone identified as alcoholic. I truly thought that an alcoholic was someone who drank every day, who drank vodka from a paper bag, or someone who drank all day and night. The only problem I had was not being able to stop drinking once I got started. I lost control of my drinking when I drank – that’s what makes me an alcoholic, today I understand that. Did you have preconceived notions of what an alcoholic looked like?
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