Before I came to terms with my disease, I failed at just about everything. I could not hold a job for very long, my relationships with others were erratic and very short-term, and I had little hope that life would get better. I kept making the same mistakes over and over, again. I held the world responsible for my failures, and never saw my part in my problems. I truly felt that I was somehow born defective, and I envied everyone whom I viewed as being in better shape than me. Drinking was but a symptom. I drank to escape the misery of my life, and my life was miserable because I drank. Around and around I went, never allowing myself the possibility of change. of growth, until . . . I crossed the threshold of Alcoholics Anonymous. I found what I had been searching for, all my life, right there in the first 164 pages of a “big book” entitled “Alcoholics Anonymous.” I shall be eternally grateful.