There were many times when I would awaken to bruises, cuts, and no memory of how I got them. I woke up in the hospital several times, and once on a train track. How embarrassing it was to have to ask someone, where am I? I even woke up in a different State once. How did I get to Nevada? Who knows? I could see these behaviors more clearly once I started working the program through working the Steps. I knew I had to change from the inside out. I found others who had faced these basic changes in behavior. There were people in the meetings who had been sober for years and that to me was amazing! I heard others tell their stories and I related to them.  Everything I said, everything I did, and everything I thought all had to be considered, reviewed, and ultimately changed at a core level. The good news was that I could do this phenomenal task one day at a time. In the early days my sponsor realized that I was very resistant to change; and when I began discussing it with her, instead of giving me a long list of things I would need to change, she said not to worry as there were only three things a newcomer needed to change. I was relieved to hear that and said I could handle just three things and asked what they were, ready to get at it. My sponsor said, “Everything you say, everything you think, and everything you do.” Then she smiled, I didn’t. I DO NOW!!! LOL

Photo courtesy of MAGGS

Photo courtesy of MAGGS

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