Step One was the beginning of my admission to being powerless over alcohol. It lead me to the acceptance of the fact that my life had become unmanageable. Those two “facts” were what brought me to the tables of A.A., and what kept me there. I was totally full of fear when I entered the rooms, I could not stop shaking. It was a very emotional time for me. I realized that I had to tell the truth probably for the first time in my life. Along with shaking I found myself crying almost uncontrollably, but I managed to stay for the entire meeting. I had a true sense of “coming home” and knew in my heart that I had found a whole room full of people who had been where I had been, who had done what I had done. In many ways I feel the same way today, especially when I write about my early days in recovery. It brings memories of how confused I was, how desperate I felt, and the absolute certainty that I had somehow found hope for recovery from the disease of alcoholism.
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