Step Two brought me to a place of understanding that I had been “insane” for all my years of drinking. I drank in bars and could always find others who, to me, drank more than I did, or “worse” than I did. I heard about a Higher Power in the meetings, and while that worried me for a time, I soon came to know that my concentration needed to be on my Program; finding a sponsor, meetings (as many as I could manage) and communication with others going through the same process. This “power” greater than my disease showed itself in the abstinence of alcohol by others in the rooms. I could not stop drinking and using without a “program” and from what I could see, A.A. was what worked for others and I believed it would work for me. I began to see the insanity that defined my life, and I began to believe that sobriety was possible, and through the Program, probable – if I gave it my best effort. I had literally nothing to lose, and the fear of returning to the chaos and mess kept me coming back, time and again.
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