Looking, admitting and accepting is not something I do naturally. Usually, it is a second thought; a taking responsibility for, after re-thinking a situation or event. When I reflect back on my actions I can see where I have not fully accepted the responsibility for the events in my life. This is true especially when those events have resulted in behaviors that affected others negatively. I want to blame others, and I am so deluded that I talk myself into believing that I have little to no responsibility for what has occurred. It’s someone else’s fault – and I can get a bad case of the “if only’s,” to justify my part, if I acknowledge that I have a part, at all. In my early years it always seemed easier to just blame others, than it was to accept responsibility. Through the process of recovery I have learned what is mine and what is not mine, when it comes to being responsible. Just for today, I am free of justification.
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