I was one of those who thought I could control my drinking, I believed that I was smart enough to do that.  What a blow to my ego to fail at stopping, time and again.  My addiction to alcohol had little to do with my IQ.  This took several tries before I accepted that fact.  And then there was the fact of my fellow alcoholics, many of whom were “smart.”  The diversity of the membership of any A.A. group is pretty amazing.  Some are intelligent, and some are not.  Some hold high level positions and some work at low level jobs.  The diversity goes beyond the jobs we hold, and covers all aspects of our attributes and faults.  I was a planner, and still are for that matter, I worked out a schedule for my daily routine. . . that lasted the better part of a morning, ha ha.  Now I know that was me setting myself up, one more time, for failure.  Being a failure at whatever task I was attempting was just another excuse to get drunk, again.  I know today that it was my ego that carried me through life, and it was that same ego that blocked me from my Higher Power, God.  My intelligence was both my bane and my blessing.
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