My Past

I am thankful that God gave me enough brains that I was able to do the work for which I was hired.  But in so far as my working relationships, I never really had any, due to my fear of being “found out.”  Feelings of being inferior were “born” early in my life, and much of what I went through worked to underscore that belief.  I envied those who had the brains and opportunity to advance to jobs that paid well.  My alcoholism was also a factor.  It was easy to get jobs back then. I have found other ways of being useful, God has a purpose for me. . . stay sober and help others.


2 thoughts on “My Past

  1. I know about the inferiority complex and I’ve hard a hard time shaking that and still a people pleaser. I trace it back to early childhood and psychological and emotional abuse by older siblings (I believe) caused a lot of social anxiety and lack of self-confidence which influenced my decision to take a drink at age 14. After many years of drinking, I came to AA with very low self-esteem. I’ve made some progress and try not to beat myself up too much. I have learned to push back if I feel I’m in major “people pleaser” mode. I’m grateful to the program. Life is complicated!

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