Driven

Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.
ALCOHOLIC ANONYMOUS , p. 62

My selfishness was the driving force behind my drinking. I drank to celebrate success and I drank to drown my sorrows. Humility is the answer. I learn to turn my will and my life over to the care of God. My sponsor tells me that service keeps me sober. Today I ask myself: Have I sought knowledge of God’s will for me? Have I done service for my A. A. group?

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9 thoughts on “Driven

  1. Stop this.
    Stop this.
    Stop this tit for tat.

    Turn the other cheek!

    Above all remember that this life of ours is a “We” program.

    I’m Harry, grateful alcoholic and devoted twelve stepper.

  2. Hello dear this24!
    “I focused on the practicalities to avoid the grief. It found me anyway.”
    This last year has been wicked. I was so close to giving up. Grief, loss of self, seeking, floundering, drinking, loss of faith, detox, and finally rehab and a grief counselor. The last two were life savers.
    My journey back to sobriety (102 days) has been many fold. The principles of AA are a constant in my life, as are Eckhart Tolles, “the Power of Now”and simple Buddhist philosophies. I am becoming a new me without Fordy. It has taken much work and I’m working hard everyday to rebuild the recovery that I cherished. “One day at a time” has been my touchstone.
    I wanted to share this with you to let you know that I’m back in the land of the living. Service is an important key. I’m beginning to volunteer with the Visiting Nurses Association in their Hospice program. Being a retired RN, I’ve found that sticking with what I know is paramount, for me.
    Alcoholism is deadly and I’m grateful to have survived this relapse. I’m also grateful for this24. It has lifted me up when I couldn’t do it myself. My faith has returned…..it was terrifying when I lost it. Attitude of gratitude!
    Happy to see familiar faces here.
    The journey continues…….

  3. Brother Skwarlo an old Jehovah’s Witness who was well into his nineties at the time confided in me ,” Doctor, as long as you keep moving they won’t bury you”

    Glad you’re back Maggie.

  4. Come on now…don’t be so hard on yourself. Alcohol is an addictive substance and don’t forget that. Sure, I have some insecurities and flaws and like many others so the program is a great help. But alcohol is addictive! A certain percentage of the population is susceptible to the addictive qualities and just like some are addicted to fast food, sugar, nicotine etc. It’s not just because I am some inherently evil person.

  5. Oh, Maggie, I am so grateful to hear and read your voice. Your contributions kept me on track way back when and your testimony today validates how difficult this addiction is coupled with real life losses. So thank you for sharing your story and still being here on this 24.
    I used to be so scared to share on this 24, and you and others helped me by your sharing. Best if prayers. Kt

    • Thanks Kt! I am blessed that this relapse was short lived. In one sense, coming back was like riding a bike…it all comes back fairly quickly. But until my faith in a power greater than me came back and living just for today, the entire 9 months was a battle. I never stopped going to meetings, even when they triggered me. A marvelous thing , this WE program!

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